I can't orgasm, what am I doing wronggg

[Duckyduckermon]

So, I'm AFAB (assigned female at birth), and have been to the world a guy ever since I was 12, starting puberty blockers at 14 and Testosterone at 16 (only for one year, so I stopped at 17) .

I have been masturbating since a younger age, just applying pressure in my clitoris and moving in circles, and it felt good and i kept on doing it. I have had two boyfriends, one before being on testosterone with Whom sex felt more painful, and one after, the one I have now, with whom sex feels great.

The issue is I am very numb in my clit, my boyfriend rubs it, or does oral sex and I fake moans cus I don't really feel anything at all, but don't want him feeling bad for not being able to pleasure me, in general clit stimulation doesn't really do much for me, and the only times I have felt more pleasure or close to an orgasm (or what I assume it is) have been through penetration, which I really really enjoy.

What do I do? Is it normal to not feel anything through clit stimulation? Is it possible for someone to never orgasm? Because I really don't feel nothing.

[amber]

Hi Duckyduckermon and welcome to the boards!

I want to start by saying there is nothing wrong with you and these feelings you are having are very normal. I am glad to hear that you do find enjoyment with intercourse, even without orgasm. There are a handful of things that could be causing that 'numbness' you are describing.

Do you feel a mental blockage to orgasm or clitoral stimulation? By this I mean are you more in your head when trying out this sort of touch/stimulation. Our brain is the most important sex organ and so putting lots of emphasis on an orgasm or appearing like you are enjoying touch can have a big impact.

Another aspect could be the actually way you are touching. You mentioned feeling positive pleasure in the past while masturbating but no feeling when your partner touches you. Could it be that the type of touch differs when you do it vs your boyfriend? People with a clitoris vary in the type of touch, movement, and pressure they like so this could be an 'issue' of figuring out what it is you like.

How does all that sound? Anything hit home for ya?

[Duckyduckermon]

To asnwer the first thing first, I am not so sure, whenever I start feeling like a sort of pressure (kind of like a kettle) is only when penetration happens, and as soon as I identify the feeling and start really leaning into it and think am about to orgasm, the feeling goes away. I still feel a lot of pleasure, but not that pressure, at least not for a bit. And yeah I suppose appearing like I enjoy something when I don't can have an impact, it's something I'm trying to stop doing.

I think the touches are different, he really likes doing oral to me, which I don't mind because I like seeing him do it, and when he touches me is very lightly, but when I feel something in my fun time is when i press and move in circles, maybe it is an issue of figuring out what I like and how to communicate to my boyfriend that I like it, thanks for the help!

[amber]

Of course! I am glad this has been helpful.

Did you want to talk more about how you could talk to your partner about how to try new things or how to try new things by yourself?