Bleeding after sex, how much is too much?

[choklot_mose]

I had penetrative sex for the first time ever with my boyfriend two weeks ago. Yesterday my peroid was finishing (hadn't had any blood for at least 18 hours) so i thought it was alright to try again for the seccond time.

The first time I believe my hymen was broken a bit? There was a bit of blood, but otherwise it was enjoyable, this time less so. there was a significant amount of blood, comparable to day 2 of my peroid? i'm confused, my friend says i may have a tear, i feel fine- not dizzy or anything. but it my vagina does hurt. its worth noting my boyfriend is above average and im especially tight. but the bleeding came in waves, seemed to be triggered by the penetration. do i need to see a doctor? is this going to damage me? Help!

[Heather]

Hymens don't typically break or rip. Instead, they gradually erode over a lifetime, and bleeding usually isn't involved.

Bleeding with intercourse generally is something that happens with things like injury from sexual assault, or if/when a partner is very rough, isn't using lube as needed, when the receptive partner is anxious or nervous instead of turned on and relaxed, and/or isn't listening to their receptive partner when it comes to what is or isn't feeling good for them and adjusting what they are doing to what feels good for that partner.

Do any of those things sound like things that were in play for the intercourse you two have had?

[choklot_mose]

It wasn’t rough when the bleeding started per se, I have been assaulted in the past but it wasn’t penetration. We didn’t use lube this time?

[Heather]

I'm sorry that you've experienced assault.

Not using lube is one of the most common reasons for bleeding, because without enough lubrication, it's easy to abrade the vaginal opening and walls. So, sounds like in this case, that was at least one cause.

I also want to make sure you know there's not really such a thing as a "tight" or "loose" vagina or vaginal opening. Instead, the vagina and its opening are either tense or relaxed. When they're tense -- usually due to things like nervousness, or not having spent enough time before anything goes inside on other sexual activities that really turn on the person with the vagina -- that's often that feeling of tightness. And when the vagina feels like that, we don't want to do anything where anything is being pressed inside, instead we either want to spend more time with other kinds of sex that feel good until it doesn't feel so tight, or take a pass on that kind of sex, period, until such a time as we don't feel "tight" like that. This might be particularly pertinent for you, since you're someone with some sexual trauma in your history: that feeling of tenseness might also be in part due to having had an assault experience.

So, if you are feeling chronically too tight, that is probably an indication you're moving to intercourse too soon in a sexual session, and should slow down to do more first that helps you relax and become more aroused.

In the event you already do all that, and you still always feel this way, no matter the partner, or even with things like vaginal exams, or have bleeding even when you're doing all the things I mentioned, then I'd say that warrants a healthcare visit for an assessment.