Idk I’m just venting I’m a wreck

[hellohelpp]

I don’t even know I Probaly have ocd or Probaly not I don’t even know because my older brother was in his boxers and I feel like I felt something for a second but I swear I didn’t i don’t even know I just wanna go back to how it use to be so badly and I told one of my friends so now I’m terrified of it getting spread and I just can’t anymore I was having such a good summer I have so much to do this year it was meant to be so good I kinda got over it but it came back so bad and it’s been so long I’m so depressed

[mikky]

hi hellohelpp,
I am really sorry to see how badly you are struggling right now. It's important for me to note that we aren't a mental health service, and based on your post, it seems like that is likely what you need right now. If you have a therapist or other mental health support in your life, this would be a time to ask for an urgent meeting. If you don't have mental health care, is that something you need help finding? Maybe 111 or Childline (https://www.childline.org.uk/) could be helpful?
I have struggled badly with OCD for most of my life and can understand how tough and distressing intrusive thoughts can be. You deserve to get care when you are feeling this scared and sad.

[hellohelpp]

idk if it’s intrusive ocd or something bevause like obviously I don’t wanna self diagnose like what if it’s just hormones idek it’s just so scary what if he found out or something. It’s like just not fair I’m going to an ari concert and then Disneyland later this year like why now it’s suppose to be good times. actually I don’t even know why I’m venting i could just go on one of those sites I’m just like I don’t even know thank you tho

[mikky]

Whether it is "hormones" or OCD or something else is secondary to the fact that you're experiencing quite a lot of distress right now. It sounds like you are feeling stuck, but mental health crisis lines and helplines are very good at listening to venting. There might be some chat based options available as well.

[hellohelpp]

are there sites like this wheee there’s like a chat board

[mikky]

Maybe you can try the chat line here: https://www.childline.org.uk/get-suppor ... llor-chat/
I don't know about other sites that offer forums like this, and can't vouch for any in this moment. We have one more volunteer coming in a few hours who may have a recommendation, but we will be closed tomorrow, so I highly suggest you seek out support now rather than wait for us as there might be a long delay.

[hellohelpp]

Thank you

[hellohelpp]

Wait I feel like I’m a little better now. Do u feel like the thought is so,etching I can just forget or should I talk to someone abt it idek

[mikky]

There's no need to ruminate on a specific thought and what it might mean or say about us- weird thoughts pop into our heads sometimes. But, if you are finding that you can't let it go, or you are continuing to feel depressed and anxious, I do encourage you to seek out some support.

[hellohelpp]

idk I spiral and then I get grounded and it hits me that I can never reverse it or telling my friend or typing it out and then I go back into spiralling cus at least it’s better than that realisation. Idek

[Latha]

Hello there, Hellohelpp!

I hope it is alright that I respond to your post while I am on shift. I'm sorry to hear that you are having a hard time, though I'm glad you've been feeling a little better recently.

Would it help to hear that these thoughts are not things that you have to reverse? Keep in mind that they are not real--they do not hurt other people, or imply anything about what you want.

There are lots of people out there who have scary and uncomfortable thoughts about sexual topics, just like you do. As Micky said, weird thoughts do just pop into our heads sometimes. Thoughts we have do not always describe what we want--they can be random, or become focused on the things that disturb us. When a thought really scares you, your mind may return to it again and again, because you are trying in some way to deal with it.

As you've found, sometimes it can be hard to deal with these spirals on your own. That is when it is best to ask for help, and find mental healthcare as Mikky suggested. Mental health support helps so many people who struggle like you feel better.

We are not qualified to provide this support, but we can help you find someone who is.

• One good place to start is the links Mikky gave you earlier. Have you been able to visit the Childline chat site or call 111, as they suggested?

• You could also tell any trusted adult in your life. Can you think of an adult who has listened to you and supported you in the past?

• Are you attending school right now, or have your holidays begun? If you are going to school, there should be a school counselor or therapist whose job involving helping with problems just like the one you have right now. You could visit them, and tell them about what is happening.

You do not need to feel ashamed to tell anyone about the subject of your thoughts--because unwanted thoughts like these are really common, many people will recognize that is what is happening with you when you tell them. But if that feels like too much, you can just start by telling them that you have thoughts that are causing a lot of stress, and you want help managing them.

For when you are feeling bad, I want to offer this resource on managing anxiety--see if trying the strategies it suggests helps you feel better.

I would also like to share two articles of ours. The first is about dealing unwanted sexual feelings, and the second is a personal account from someone who deals with intrusive sexual thoughts:

• Feeling Good When You're Feeling Bad: Dealing with Unwanted or Confusing Sexual Arousal

• Embracing Vulnerability and Discomfort with Sexually Intrusive Thoughts

[hellohelpp]

It’s been 11 days now I think I’m gonna have to tell my parents because I really want clarity and to have a good summer but how am I suppose to tell them while not sounding weird but also being 100% honest because I have anxiety ( I guess… I think so?) so I feel like it doesn’t really count otherwise idk

[Heather]

Hi there, hellohelpp.

I'm afraid that I feel very lost by much of this post, right from the start, so I'm not sure what you need to tell your parents about and what kind of help you're looking for from us with what this is.

Can you explain both of those things to me so I have a sense of what kind of help you want and with what, specifically? Thanks.

[hellohelpp]

that like should I tell my parents about the thought I just feel so weird and stuf keeping it to myself

[Heather]

I'm still not sure I know what the thought was that you had, but it sounds to me like just telling your parents about it is probably less help than you need. It sounds like what you really need to do is to tell them you struggle with intrusive thoughts, period, and ask them for help getting a mental health assesment so you can get the kind of help with this that's likely to actually help.

In other words, how about asking them for help getting mental healthcare so you can have qualified help to help you manage intrusive thoughts?

[hellohelpp]

I’m a little ashamed to explain it again can u read my first ever message in the thread I put it there I just wanna tell them for some clarity idk if I have intrusive thoughts I just think it might’ve been AN inrrusive thought maybe idk

[Sofi]

Hi there. I understand you're feeling ashamed. As we have been saying, though, this is something that needs to be handled with a mental health professional, which we are not. Although the thought was sexual in nature, this is not a sexual education issue, since it was just a thought and therefore requires mental health support. We sent you some helpful articles and tried to help you find mental healthcare, were you able to read any of that?