Crossing boundaries

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bricknmortar
not a newbie
Posts: 18
Joined: Thu Jul 31, 2025 11:57 pm
Age: 18
Awesomeness Quotient: I’m a poet and good with words
Primary language: English
Pronouns: he/him
Sexual identity: Greyromantic bisexual
Location: Seattle WA

Crossing boundaries

Unread post by bricknmortar »

Hey yall.... I just had a really bad experience I want to get off my chest :( I feel very awful and ashamed. I was having sex with my partner, and for once I just felt like our communication was really bad, I had no idea what I wanted and we just kept.... going, getting rougher and rougher and now I feel unsatisfied and a little shaken. My partner isn't really telling me how they feel and I'm so ashamed I didn't tell them to stop, I don't feel like I was assaulted I just feel like I wasted our time, and its my fault for having sex in a bad headspace. Again I am so ashamed. I feel horribly alone and disgusting. Why did this happen. If I tell them will they be upset with me??

-Brick
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char
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 273
Joined: Tue Jun 03, 2025 3:08 am
Age: 26
Awesomeness Quotient: i have chromesthesia!
Primary language: english
Pronouns: they/them/theirs or xe/xem/xyrs
Sexual identity: aromantic queer/bisexual
Location: southeast asia (SEA)

Re: Crossing boundaries

Unread post by char »

Brick, I'm so sorry that the last sex you had was unpleasant. :( How are you feeling at the moment, and were there any updates from your partner about this after you posted?

It's completely understandable that you're upset about this too. There are times when sex--solo or partnered--doesn't go as expected, even if it's with people we like and find safe to be vulnerable with. Even if we were sure that everything went well initially. At the same time, there are things that are beyond our (including your partner) control that can influence our enjoyment and comfort, and it's okay not to be able to immediately name them.

How can we best help you?
the shining stars when the night falls / and the sun that leaves behind the sunset glow / they all have their unique colors! (=^･ｪ･^=)
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bricknmortar
not a newbie
Posts: 18
Joined: Thu Jul 31, 2025 11:57 pm
Age: 18
Awesomeness Quotient: I’m a poet and good with words
Primary language: English
Pronouns: he/him
Sexual identity: Greyromantic bisexual
Location: Seattle WA

Re: Crossing boundaries

Unread post by bricknmortar »

Hello, it's been overnight and I'm kinda just waiting for a response. My partner told me they felt paralyzed and needed some time to think about it before talking. I told them that I felt scared and I wish we'd stopped. Anyway. I just want it to be over, I want to forgive them and move on, but it's going to be a lot more painful and complicated than that. :(
-Brick
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