i know there’s something wrong with me, but the drs are having a hard time figuring out what it is.

[arilishart]

had a yeast infection earlier this year that came back positive for candida glabrata. was first given two doses of diflucan by my school’s health center, none of them relieved any symptoms besides exacerbating them more and it caused more inflammation. eventually saw a gyn at my provider place instead and went forward onto prescribing boric acid for 21 days. once that was completed however, i was experiencing thick yellow-green tint like discharge with malodor instead. the gyn that i saw who prescribed me the boric acid squeezed me in and decided to do a wet prep and examine it under a microscope herself and found out i had bv. i believe there was an overlap of bv and yeast that i was having since jan. no signs of yeast were shown, however. i was prescribed to take flagyl for a week and that pretty much eliminated the symptoms at first.

however, after my period, the symptoms returned and i’m still in exhaustion about this. i went back to the gyn today and brought up my concern of this symptoms and i wanted to order tests for ureplasma and mycoplasma to make sure im cleared for those. also, on top of my period lessening throughout each month that im not bleeding as much as i used to be. i ordered a hormone test to see if there’s anything going on. i explained to her about the discharge and the odor, i was kind of met with “well that’s probably normal” and i told her im aware of what my natural smell is like, this one is pretty foul for me ever since January. “well maybe you’re getting older”. i told her my scent did not smell like that a month before i had glabrata and bv. repeated the wet prep again and examined it under a microscope, and it came back with few clue cells appearing but that “it’s normal”.

i basically felt pretty unsatisfied that i wasn’t being taken seriously despite her ordering the tests for me. i don’t know if im overreacting. but i’ve just been feeling like shit all day because i know there’s something going on despite what these drs are saying to me. like it feels weird for me to feel hurt because she actually was helpful on a lot of things, but i’m basically returning once these symptoms return that i feel like im getting difficult for them to treat. she suggested that at this point she might have to refer me to an infectious disease dr. because she doesn’t know what to do if these infections are recurrent.

i’ve tried talking to my mom about this and she insinuated that there’s something mentally wrong with me if the drs can’t even find out what’s happening. that felt pretty bad. i feel like im becoming a burden onto people and cant express how i feel without them getting tired. like i just need somebody to understand how im feeling and not tell me that im crazy or that theres something mentally wrong with me because im having chronic health issues.

[Heather]

Hi again, arilishart. I'm so sorry this has been such a struggle. I'm also really sorry that your mom or anyone else has suggested that what's going on with your body is only in your head. You keep getting infections, so while it sucks to hear that suggestion, it's clear that the facts are that this is very much not just in your head.

This is really a situation where a healthcare provider, one you feel more confidence in, and feel is doing right by you, is going to be the only person who can probably ultimately help here. But let me offer up what I can, and let's see if we can't help some. Like many of us in the world, I've also dealt with long-term mystery chronic health conditions, and long-term issues some doctors and clinicians didn't have answers for for many years, so I get how you're feeling. It's hard enough to deal with health issues long term, but it really extra, extra sucks when you can't be treated or even diagnosed properly for what's going on.

My understanding with candida glabrata is that folks who get it commonly have underlying immune issues of some kind, including people with autoimmune disorders like type 1 diabetes, and that is also who this can cause extra challenges for, particularly in kicking it and getting it to stop creating extra issues, like the BV you wound up with. So, one of the first things I want to check in with you about is to see if you have any immune issues/autoimmune disorders, or if you've been evaluated for them. Since you also report feeling what sounds like ongoing fatigue, that question feels extra important to me.

It is normal, as you get out of puberty, for menstrual flow to often become lighter than it was in the teens, and for your scent to change, that's true. But I also generally trust someone's own sense of when changes like this are because of something wrong, especially someone who pays as much attention to what's going on with their body as it sounds like you do. I don't think it's likely there are any issues with hormones here, but again, that's really only something a doctor can evaluate for you and give you a definitive answer about.

I also understand that developing resistance to fungal treatments is something that happens often with this kind of candida, so it's not surprising that you're having a harder and harder time feeling like your infections get all the way treated, and that you're feeling like the symptoms are never totally going away.

If the OB/GYN you are seeing is saying she doesn't know what to do with recurring infections -- something else I understand to be common with this kind of candida infection -- then it sounds to me like she's saying that your healthcare needs are outside her abilities. I don't know what your insurance coverage is like, but do you have the ability to see a specialist? If you do, I'd suggest asking this doctor to refer you to a specialist. Personally, I think it would be great if you could see an OB/GYN who specializes in chronic infections or candida, and/or someone who can evaluate you for autoimmune disorders. Is that something you can at least ask for, and see what happens?

[arilishart]

Hi Heather, I've gotten my blood test results for a hormonal panel from yesterday. The dr reported back that my labs for prolactin, testosterone, ferritin, etc... are completely normal. The gyn was also supposed to do an ultrasound and check for fibroids or polyps – I know that some women in family have a history of this condition. However, I think they forgot to perform this test so I'll be asking my primary dr. tomorrow if they can please order that examination and not forget. I don't have any autoimmune diseases from what I know, on the other hand I've talked to my friends about this and they suggested to ask my dr to see if there's a way where they can check for any vitamin deficiencies.

For the periods, I do believe they're stress related as I'd gone through a bad relationship this year that has overall impacted both my physical and my mental health. My periods before January were usually normal. They were pretty much moderate to heavy, never anything that I would have to change my pads every hour or so... probably four to six hours in fact. Now, my periods are just super slow to start (which is probably normal)... but throughout the day they're now light. I remember back in February my period barely showed up and it only lasting for two days. While to some extent what my dr said is right, however the scent and everything else started when something happened in January that caused the infections, and has been an issue since (I choose to not say what it was). They've done multiple pregnancy tests and sti screenings and they're coming back negative, which initially I was scared of those being the factors.

As of now, I asked them to order me a prescription of metro gel, but they want me to wait for the results first. I'll probably hear them out first but will ask my dr on what to do if these symptoms are recurring and have him refer me to see an infectious disease dr. This thing has made me feel so gross about my body that it's starting to affect my mental health and as silly it is, it's affecting me from work and school. I feel like I'm pining answers that I'll never get and that this thing is going to stay with me forever.

[Heather]

I understand that feeling like things will be like this forever. Fingers crossed that's just a feeling borne of all of this frustration so far, not an accurate prediction for the future. I'm also really sorry you're feeling gross in your body. If it helps to know, bacterial imbalances and infections like this are ultimately just the balance of bacteria already in your body gone awry, not some kind of alien invader or germ farm. Regardless, I don't think it's silly this is taking a toll on your mental health. That happens a lot and is totally understandable.

The period changes do sound likely normal to me. Like I said, periods becoming lighter once your body really settles into them is the norm.

I don't see vitamin deficiencies being a likely culprit here (and right now, a lot of people may say to do that, but that has a lot more to do with how popular supplements are right now than how much they are actually usually needed -- there's a lot of what people think about vitamins that is coming from marketing rather than good education). I would instead suggest at least circling back to your primary care doctor and asking for an evaluation of your immune system, as well as a really comprehensive full checkup with all the blood work. If they also are open to testing you for allergies and nutritional deficiencies too, well, great. Can't hurt, might help.

I don't think a doctor who specializes in infectious diseases is the right choice, because I personally don't see anything here to indicate you have a virus or anything like that. But if a doctor thinks that's the right thing for you, I defer to their expertise.

[arilishart]

Hi Heather, is it okay If I can update with you with some of the results that'll likely get tmrw? The only blood test they haven't done yet and it was due to availability was glucose. I know it may not be your expertise, but this week has been starting to be exhausting for my mental health that I just need somebody to talk to. In the meantime I'm seeing a therapist for my anxiety and will be seeing a psychiatrist for additional treatment. I just feel like I'm on edge with everything for the past eight months. I basically feel like I'm at a war with my body at the moment and I don't know how to relax.

[Heather]

Absolutely.

And I'm really glad you're finding extra support with a therapist and seeking out more from a psychiatrist. A big support net is so important when you're going through chronic health issues.

[arilishart]

Hi Heather, I'm back,

last night my gynecologist messaged me about the vaginitis panel and reported that BV and yeast came back negative. I'm still waiting for mycoplasma and ureaplasma results. I went to go see my primary dr. and he has ordered additional testing for LH, FSH, and estradiol. I'm still waiting for my progesterone results. I asked my dr. if I should need to start the flagyl cream in case and he says I don't need to, same thing with my gynecologist. I feel some relief, but at the same time I'm kind of on edge with what's happening. I shouldn't feel that way, I should feel happy again. There were times throughout this past year when I was dealing with the active infections that were mild I thought were completely cured and brushed them off until the symptoms begin to get stronger, and the tests would come back positive (glabrata specifically). It made me walk out really frustrated and internalize a lot of shame and disgust about myself on not preventing my ex at the time to touch me if I didn't want it/like it.

I think the insecurity is spilling onto my worrying about my smell, and weirdly internalizing what future prospects will say to me if they find the smell off-putting and basing that about who I am as a person. It makes me feel dirty. yesterday I mentioned to my therapist about how I don't like the drs touching me down there, because when I first saw my current gyn in april for the glabrata, they used a pediatric speculum (metal) and I believe since I was already severely inflamed it was soooooo painful, it felt like somebody was cutting a knife inside of me. I never had that problem before, only pressure. I basically mistaken it for a vaginismus issue, but I have no pain inserting fingers or suppositories for me and realized the inflammation could've been a factor instead.

I also did hint about my ex that's related to the infection and she asked what it was that he did, but I told her I'm not ready to bring it up yet because the situation is pretty loaded and I don't really have a label if it's considered an assault because of how it went down. that's something I don't really take lightly. It also had taken me just this past month to finally stop thinking about it and I don't want to trigger it again. but I do believe that the aftermath left me pretty traumatized because I kind of get scared when the drs. start touching me when they let me know. I also wanted to input that this is where my periods had gotten weird right after this situation.

[arilishart]

also to add on the still feeling off part, I guess even though I might be fine now and my body is just recovering, I still get lingering symptoms of inflammation and sensitivity despite being normal. I'm chalking it up that the treatments that i've had to take for so long pretty much disrupted a lot of my microbiome, that my body is taking its time to rebuild itself again. but have you ever had experiences like that? I've done some few research (reddit mainly, lol) and found a few people who developed vulvodynia after candida glabrata. but it might be different for them though, because one of them was dealing with the infection for like three years, and I was dealing with it for 3-4 months? In the meantime, I'm just taking probiotics and not wearing any underwear at night. I might have to change my diet just a tiny bit as well, and probably throw out underwear that's not cotton.

also do you know any places that might sell pure cotton underwear? well maybe I shouldn't say exactly pure, but like allows everything to breathe? I'm working four days a week where there's constant standing and walking and it just heightens the sensitivity.

[amber]

Hi arilishart,

I'm glad to hear that things are moving along for you but am sorry you've been dealing with all of this. Going to the doctor is not easy and it sounds like you've been through a lot surrounding this illness in a short amount of time.

Heather is not here at the moment, but I let her know you responded. Did not want to leave you without any reply for the night!

[arilishart]

Hi amber, thanks for letting her know!

[Heather]

Hello again. (I'm they, rather than her, just FYI to you both! <3)

Before I say anything else, I just want you to know -- in case it's relevant to this conversation, or something that might make you feel more comfortable disclosing anything you want to at any point (with no pressure to do that, either) -- I'm a survivor of multiple kinds of assault and abuse and someone who has had a couple pretty awful partners. I'm also someone who has worked in and around victim and survivor advocacy for decades.

I didn't realize it had only been a few months since the initial infection. I agree, it may well be that you have currently cleared and and all vaginal infections, but you -- on the whole -- and your vulvovaginal environment still may not feel well. After months of chronic infections, it will tend to take at least that same amount of time for your system to really right itself all the way, so even without an active infection, your scent and guts and genitals -- and your emotions! -- can feel off, and act, loook or otherwise feel differently than before all of that. Fingers crossed that is where you're at with this, because that means you are on the other side of the likely worst of this, you're just still not 100% yet. I also think it's good that your doctor has ordered other tests just to be sure nothing going on is hormonal.

Let's not worry about the future right now. Not only is it pretty unlikely this will remain an issue well into the future, it's also not like actually good prospects for partnership will be dicks about an illness. In fact, I'd say that's a pretty good litmus test. I don't know about you, but even if I was well at the time, I'd not get involved with someone who is ableist like that, you know?

Taking a probiotic and making sure you're letting your vulva breathe are good steps. In terms of cotton underwear, there are actually a lot of options out there right now, most pretty easily available, and in a range of price ranges. More inexpensive brands like Hanes and Fruit of the Loom make them, then up another notch are brands like Jockey and Pact, and then there's a whole other bunch that are lovely but more expensive (but if you can afford them, are often better made, and have better labor practices, etc.), brands like oddoboddy and ARQ.

How else can I help you out right now?