Talking stage or just friends?

[JoeyBroey]

Hi! I’m Joey, I’m 16, and I’m currently talking to a guy I’m interested in for the first time in a while. For some background, this guy and I have known each other since last fall, but we’ve gotten to know each other way more since spring. In April, we went on a trip together, and we would hang out every night until like 3:00 in the morning. I even laid on his chest while watching TikToks for almost an hour. We were hanging out with each other for almost the whole four day trip, and we had a lot of time alone with each other on the second to last day of our trip. We started talking a lot more after that, and we even went to prom together about a month later. He’s been really busy over the summer, so we haven’t had as much time to talk or hang out, but I really miss how much we’d talk and hang out in the spring. I feel like our relationship is kind of at a standstill at this point though. We’re still talking a couple times a week, but I’m almost always the one who texts first. I also can’t tell if he’s losing interest in me. I’m probably overthinking, but I can’t help but miss what our relationship was like a few months ago. Overall, I’m wondering how I can help pick out relationship up a bit, and how I can gauge if he’s as interested in me as I am in him.

[mikky]

Hey Joey, welcome!
So, I always roll my eyes at myself when I tell someone this, but talking to him seems like the best way to figure out what his interest in the relationship is. We could do a ton of detective work and attempt mindreading, but in the end, it is much more accurate to hear it from him. It also means you can communicate what you’re thinking and feeling, because he might not know (even if it seems obvious!).

Communication is so crucial to building and maintaining a healthy relationship. Do you feel like you could tell him you’ve been really enjoying being close with him, you’re missing talking and hanging out with him, and you feel very interested in doing more of that when he’s less busy; but you aren’t sure whether he is on the same page?

A potentially helpful resource for you: Hello, Sailor! How to Build, Board and Navigate a Healthy Relationship

[JoeyBroey]

Thanks for the quick response! To answer your question, yes, I’d feel comfortable communicating that I want to hang out and talk more upfront. My worry is that I might be asking for too much, or that he just doesn’t feel as strongly as I do.

[char]

Hi JoeyBroey! Glad Mikky's response was helpful. As they said, the best course of action here is to let him know directly that you'd like to hang out with him more often. After all, if you don't give it a shot, you might never know how he actually feels. And if he did end up not feeling the same way as you do, at least you heard it from himself rather than wallow in regret from never telling him how you feel. Do you get what I mean?

I hope the conversation between you and him goes well! Let us know if you have other questions.