How do you feel comfortable with traveling and asking for help

[coffeebeans]

I'll be honest I don't like travelling. And I hate it so much that I get anxiety and thoughts about bad things happening to me all the time. If I travel by myself I'm afraid something will go wrong. It's really becoming a problem because Im avoiding going to the doctor or therapy or anything else.

If I don't know how to travel I won't be able to get help. And I don't feel comfortable asking for help in general it makes me feel stupid. I been avoiding therapy because i just don't think they could help me and I want to leave my house but I don't want to.i hate when my parents say they would travel with me then on the day they tell me I have to travel by myself. It caught me so off guard. That I don't want to go.

And if I want to move out by myself I don't think I can so I probably couldn't move away from my parents because I don't like travelling at all.

[KierC]

Hey coffeebeans,

I realize it can be daunting to ask for help and leave the house alone when you’re struggling so much already. As we said before, this is out of the scope of what we do here. But I do think it’s important you get the help you need. Can you ask a friend or family member who isn’t your parents to accompany you?

For mental health support, it may also be possible to receive care without leaving your home. Have you explored options for telehealth therapy?

[coffeebeans]

I'm not sure about telehealth therapy but I could try finding something. I just don't know if there's anything locally like that. I don't have any other friends to travel with I'm not sure about asking other family members either.

[Heather]

Hey there, coffeebeans. Whether it's about travel, therapy, or living on your own, I wanted to offer you some things about needing and asking for help.

I don't feel comfortable asking for help in general it makes me feel stupid. I been avoiding therapy because i just don't think they could help me

I find it really helpful to remember that no one knows everything, and, in fact, even people who know a whole lot about a whole lot of things still don't know anything close to knowing everything. There will always be things any of us don't know, and not knowing everything -- even not knowing a lot of things -- doesn't mean someone is stupid. It usually just means something like that whatever their life experience has been, up until that point, they haven't learned about the thing they need to know about while someone else's life experience has included what that thing is, to the point they can help someone else who's life hasn't so far. The same is true with how different all of our skills, abilities (and our limitations!) and aptitudes are.

For instance, there is a lot that I know and am really good at. I've also had pretty extensive life experience, including a lot of travel (even though it isn't my favorite thing, either) and a lot of moving around. But I have almost always needed help with math, help with directions in a new place, help in places where I don't speak the primary language there, help when it comes through getting through the slog of some kinds of paperwork, help sorting through some of the more complex traumas and emotional challenges of my life, et cetera. During the many times I've lived on my own, without anyone else, I've needed help with a lot of things, from help moving my actual stuff, help finding a place, help with the logistics of a place, rides in places where there isn't public transit, and so forth. We all need help with some things.

I'd also invite you to look at seeking help and getting it from and giving it to each other is one of the best ways we, both as a whole people and as individuals, can be in community with one another.

Avoiding asking for help -- and seeing doing so as something that makes us someone less-than -- is something I think just really limits us in life, whether that's about being able to see places we want to see, moving out on our own, getting the emotional support we need from a partner or friend. Recognizing we all need help, and then being pretty generous and easy with both asking for it and offering it is something I think deeply benefits all of us in a lot of ways, including ways very relevant to the kinds of things we usually talk about here: ways we are interacting with other people. <3