Sexual pleasure

[saltybug]

hi! making this post because it’s something that’s been starting to bother me a lot more lately.

i (cis woman) don’t feel sexual pleasure and i never have. this has never been a problem to me until recently, ive gotten a partner who is a trans woman and i really, really, really want to experience sexual pleasure with her and figure out my body, which is something i’ve never done before.

i am in my early 20s and have never masturbated or attempted to until this year - which is apparently very weird and uncommon - and also it just felt weird and non-pleasurable. i have attempted to use a mirror to try and figure out my downstairs anatomy and feel it out but it just feels uncomfortable (and i can’t find my clit haha)

i am autistic and on antidepressants and have been since my early teen years, and i suspect that may play a part in this situation i have. im wondering if i should bring it up to my doctor or psychiatrist. seems embarrassing!

i’m thinking about buying a vibrating toy or something to figure out if that can help me experience pleasure.

it makes me really sad that maybe i just can’t experience this near-universal feeling.

any advice?

[Heather]

Hi there, saltybug. Welcome to the boards. <3 Let's see what we can do to help you out.

Before I say anything, I have a couple more questions so I can help you as best as I can, if that's alright.

I'm curious about your experiences with pleasure in general, not just sexual pleasure. Are there other avenues of your life or your experience of your body where you feel like you can access pleasure? For example, like really enjoying the sensory aspects of moving your body or smelling good smells, or really enjoying yourself in the company of other people, or when doing a favorite activity : are these kinds of things generally within your reach or do you feel like you've also had or been having trouble accessing pleasure, period, not just sexual pleasure?

Too, when it comes to sexual pleasure and enjoyment, do you feel sexually aroused (turned on)? In other words, your new partner you're talking about, for instance -- do you feel sexually excited in their presence or when you think about them? Do you have sexual fantasies on your own, or other things that make you feel sexual arousal? Or has that felt like something that hasn't been present for you so far, too?