i really want to give my girlfriend head, but i’m not sure?

[aliengirl]

recently my girlfriend and i hung out, things escalated and i asked her if i could eat her out, to which she said yes. i feel embarrassed now because although i had that conversation with her, i just fingered her for the rest of the time. the thing is, i did go down just to tease her, over her underwear but i caught a whiff of a very strong scent. best described as not fishy, but my girlfriend’s scent amplified x1000 and quite masculine. i chickened out, unfortunately, which i now regret.

i did taste her and she tasted completely normal. i know vulva’s aren’t supposed to smell like unicorns and rainbows but… i felt a little intimidated. i really don’t want to make her feel insecure or something along those lines, but now i feel as if we should both get std tested before oral or genital contact.

sorry if this is insensitive.

[aliengirl]

also scared of throwing her ph off by giving her oral

[Heather]

Hi there, aliengirl. There's nothing wrong with anything you've said here. It's not insensitive for you to have questions, feel nervous or intimidated, or to have concerns about things like infections. I also don't think you have anything to feel embarrassed about or regret here. (I'd also say that there's a value to other people who come here to see someone being honest about stuff like this: makes it easier for people in similar spots not to feel alone in it. <3)

Have you two ever talked about sexual health and the state of both of your own sexual health, including things like STI screenings? If not, then by all means, it sounds like it's past time for that, since you two are already sexually involved and are intending to add more kinds of sex to your roster. I think you can ask about that without making her feel self-conscious about her scent: I'd just suggest you separate that conversation some from the sexual encounter you're describing here some, save maybe being honest that some of what happened the other day, per you not engaging in much oral with her, was about nerves on your part, including about sexual health.

One thing you don't need to worry about is causing her health problems separate from STIs. Sure, oral sex -- more to the point, our saliva -- can temporarily alter our pH balance, but that doesn't usually crate problems. Does your girlfriend have issues with something like recurring yeast or bacterial infections or BV? If not, this isn't something you need to worry about.

I also want to add that there's really no such thing as someone smelling masculine or feminine. Those words are always very arbitrary -- there are no universal meanings for them, just people's individual or cultural ideas about what those words mean -- and it sounds like you have an idea of what smells "masculine" or "feminine" to you. However, all of our bodies have the same sex hormones (just in variable combinations), and genitals all tend to smell pretty similar, a lot like how, say, armpits all tend to smell pretty similar on the whole. What we're smelling with these things are the effects of hormones, but mostly also just sweat and skin and smegma, an accumulation of oils and skin cells that can occur to some degree with any kind of genitals. It sounds like it's new to you to be smelling genitals up close and personal, yes? If so, some of what may have happened here is just you having expectations about smells that didn't match the reality of them, you know?

How do you feel about a conversation with your girlfriend about you learning that you need a little more time to feel ready for oral sex (because it sounds like you do)?