How do I confess?

[Jay772092]

Well, it took me quite a while but, once my 13th birthday hit, I felt like a whole new person, not just in personality, but towards the gender I liked. I haven't dated a female since I was in first grade, which was year's ago. So how come I'm attracted to both, and how can I tell my parents how I feel?

[Latha]

Hi there, Jay! Congratulations on your realization, and on your growth as a person!

Hmmm, how come you like men and women is an interesting question. What I can say is that it is quite normal and possible to be attracted to people of multiple genders, in the same way that it is normal to be attracted to just women or just men. Being attracted to people of a single gender is the norm, but that doesn't mean that bisexuality is notably different or that it needs a special explanation. It works the same as homosexuality or heterosexuality.

If you're looking to talk to your parents about your sexuality, it might help to start with what you know about their beliefs. Have they ever talked to you about sexuality? Have you heard about what they think of being gay or bisexual or queer?

I'd like to share an article of ours that you might like to read: The Bees and...the Bees: A Homosexuality and Bisexuality Primer

[Jay772092]

Thanks for the info! But no, they haven't talked about it, so I'll try to drop small hints. But one last thing. When it comes to my sexuality, it isn't just towards one person, it's up to 3 people, either because they like my personality, or because I like theirs. What I'm trying to say here is, if I was to like these 3 people, how should I open up to them completely, and what can I do to ensure they aren't heartbroken by a rejection?

[Anya]

Hey Jay772092,

That sounds like a tricky situation! It can definitely be difficult to know what to do when you like multiple people at the same time. Are you interested in sharing your feelings or pursuing some kind of relationship if the feelings are mutual with any of them?

I see you have listed "poly" within your sexual identity here and this is something we can talk about more at length if you want! As I am a polyamorous adult myself with 6 years of experience, I can absolutely help you navigate your feelings, communicating to these people, and identifying what you want through all of this. I will add, it can sometimes be extra hard among young people and teens who are non-monogamous to find other poly-leaning people, as there are generally less non-mono teens practicing. This of course doesn't mean they don't exist, I was still polyamorous as a teenager, but its definitely a good idea to do some real good thinking about your own wishes, boundaries, and interests---as within polyamory---you generally have to be pretty direct about those things to have solid communication from the get-go.

I'm happy to keep talking about this with you! How does that sound?

[Jay772092]

That actually sounds super helpful! This place actually makes me feel like I can get things off my chest without worrying! I'll try it out and confess my feelings first to see their reaction, thank you so much!

[Anya]

Hey Jay772092,

I'm so glad it's helpful to you! I think sharing your feelings with your parents is a great idea. It shows that you trust them and hopefully they will see it that way as well.

Afterward, feel free to come back and tell us how it went!