Could this mean anything ?

[jasmineoates999]

Hey, i’m so unbelievably panicked over this so i hope you guys can be as supportive and direct in giving me the answer to my issue here please!

I’ve read here that it’s impossible for someone to get pregnant (unless under ivf conditions) through non-direct penis to vagina/vulva ejaculation due to the path sperm needs to take and the speed it needs to be inserted into the vagina to do so. and it brought me peace of mind because i was giving my boyfriend a blowjob and a handjob and i forgot to wash my hands after (i know it’s a mistake and im paying for it now with the overwhelming stress im feeling) and i touched my vagina with that same hand after while freshening up. But then, i came across a certain board, that re-ignited all my worries and fears because although on the how pregnancy is caused boards and what things could lead to pregnancy board it was said that there HAS to be DIRECT penis to vagina or vulva ejaculation/contact for someone to get pregnant and that it can’t happen through penis to hand to vagina, i read this statement on one of the boards that then contradicts that: “In order for a pregnancy to occur, there has to be direct genital contact (penis to vulva/vagina) and/or fluids from a penis must contact a vulva, and could potentially happen if you or a partner had fingers with fresh semen⁠ on them which were then rubbed on the vulva or inserted into the vagina”

I definitely didn’t insert my fingers into my vagina but my hand definitely came in contact with my vagina.

So do the first boards that state that pregnancy can’t happen at all unless in the presence of ivf conditions and direct penis to vulva/vagina ejaculation, mean that this is no way a means of getting pregnant or not?

Please let me know which board to follow because i’ve read half of them and parts of each one gives me different answers! thank you.

[Latha]

Hi there, Jasmineoates--welcome to the boards!

I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling so worried about all this! We do our best to be as consistent and clear as possible, but language can still be an imprecise tool. I do see why you are confused, and I will try to explain exactly what we are relying on when we make evaluations about whether the semen on someone's hand can cause pregnancy.

In short: no, you do not have to worry about being pregnant.

It is true that there has to be direct contact between semen and the vulva to cause a pregnancy, and that when people are concerned about sperm cells on their hand causing pregnancy, it is most always not possible. This is because there is a difference between holding the fluid of semen in your palm or having a lot of it dripping off of your hand, and having traces of the fluid on your hand.

For the latter: you might notice the residue of semen on your hand after sex, but sperm cells need more than that to be able to cause pregnancy--not having enough fluid is an indication that the cells have been deprived of nutrients, and damaged by things like dehydration and friction and all the other unideal conditions of an unideal environment.

For the former: yes, we might theoretically imagine someone transferring viable sperm cells to the vulva when there is a lot of semen in their hands--making it much more like what we would usually think of as direct contact. But this is the less common scenario. People don't usually make a point of carrying semen and transferring it to a vulva, but they do often worry that a little residue or wetness (or having come into contact with sperm without washing your hands afterwards) will cause pregnancy. It won't--sperm cells just can't survive all that.

Remember, pregnancy in the first situation is still less likely than it would be in the direct genital-to-genital contact scenario: some cells are already damaged by being exposed to the environment of the transfer, there is probably less semen overall, and we are missing the propulsion that would occur in penis-in-vagina sex and make it easier for the sperm cells to reach the cervix. (That is why the writer on that other boards post said that pregnancy could potentially happen, not that it was very likely.)

Does that make sense and address your concerns?

i forgot to wash my hands after (i know it’s a mistake and im paying for it now with the overwhelming stress im feeling)

Really, that is such a harsh way to think about what happened. Yes, it is advisable to wash your hands after sex, but that can happen after you freshen up, and we are not going to tell you that your pain now is justified by not washing your hands immediately. This is not a mistake that you should expect to pay for.

If I may, I want to ask a bit about your situation in relation to your concerns about pregnancy:

• To clarify, are you having the kinds of sex that can cause pregnancy? If you are, what kinds of contraception do you use?

• I understand that reproductive health services like abortions are difficult to access in Beirut, and how that probably raises the stakes of having sex. Is your partner sensitive to the risks you are taking in having sex with him, and just as invested in preventing pregnancy as you are?

[jasmineoates999]

Hi Latha!

First off thank you for calming me down and letting me know that there’s no way of getting pregnant through my situation and explaining the other board in a way that made things so much clearer and completely eradicated my concerns. I was so worried that what was said in the other board meant only traces and not a handful of sperm. Thank you for calming my nerves and ensuring me that i’m not at risk of getting pregnant by what happened.

To answer your questions,
My boyfriend and I have never had sex, we intend to wait until marriage, the farthest we’ve went was oral.

And he’s very much as investing as being as safe and preventive of pregnancy happening as i am. The fear I had of thinking i could get pregnant doesn’t stem from my relationship with him at all and more of what it would mean for me, my future, how im looked down upon and shunned from society for getting pregnant at such a young age and being unmarried.

That’s why it was crucial to me to make sure that i got clarification that my specific scenario is no way at all a pregnancy risk.

Which you clarified that it isn’t at all by explaining the differences between the boards.

Thank you so much.

[Straif]

Hi jasmineoates999,
I'm so glad that we were able to be helpful. We're always here if you need anything.

[jasmineoates999]

Hey! Sorry just have a follow up question,

It’s probably just placebo but this means that any random pain in my side or any stomach issues i’m facing right now (as of today especially) is nothing because im obviously not pregnant and it’s obviously not an option, it just probably anxoety and stress right? and if so do you have any tips on how to manage such feelings about this stuff?

[Sofi]

Hi, yes we actually have a few resources on managing pregnancy anxiety. I suggest starting with this one: Why can't I stop being so scared of pregnancy?

[jasmineoates999]

Hey! i’ve been reading the post you’ve attached to calm my self down as it suggests but ive been feeling some really weird rumbles and flutters in my stomach and sides that i’ve never felt, surely once again this can’t be a pregnancy given everything we talked about right? (please don’t suggest a pregnancy test because again given the nature of the people here in lebanon acquiring one without questions as an unmarried woman won’t be an easy). It’s probably just pent up nerves and anxiety given the scare right?

[KierC]

Hey Jasmineoats <3

I’m sorry you’re still feeling really anxious about pregnancy. We know that when folks feel anxiety that persists past an initial reassurance, continued reassurance seeking only does more work to keep you in an anxious state. So, I don’t want to contribute to that by reassuring you again, but something that might help is reading through what we’ve written again and know that this advice is correct. I know anxiety is really challenging and I’m sorry you’re going through it do you tend to get anxious in general about other things too, or is this new?

[jasmineoates999]

Hey!<3

I know you’re worried about keeping me in a loop but i promise you this is not that, this is just me wondering if these sensations of flutters and rumbles could mean that the anxiety has taken a bigger toll on me. And to just tell me that, aside from covering the fact that i CANT be pregnant from my scenario, whether or not it is even an option to feel signs this early given that the incident was around 6 days ago.

Thank you!