Why porn is inappropriate for children at all?

[mika.m]

It's maybe a hated opinion but i wanted to discuss it here. I watch ethical porn as a hobby and I think it's really good because it's joyful and fun, why not? It's like I'm watching an entertaining movie. And I like my hobby and I'm completely okay with it even if everyone disagree.
I've heard a lot about the harms of porn, most of them are true only about unethical porns and some of them are still true about ethical porn. But why ethical porns are still not good for being watched at least by adolescents?
I think it's a sex-negative idea because watching people having consensual sex and others are allowed to watch is okay for everyone.
I know some of them are unrealistic or other things but children can learn this is not educational and it's just for exploring your fantasies. I think if children be allowed to watch at least some non-harmful porn, they will be educated better because most of the children always go to internet and watch porns even if everyone says that you are not allowed to watch. So don't you think there should be porns that are okay for being watched by children?

[mikky]

hi mika.m,
Distinguishing between something ethical and unethically made, or unrealism and realism, is not something that most young people- certainly not children- are equipped to do. Even the idea of what is "ethical" porn is something that you and I, or myself and one of my colleagues here, could totally disagree on! It is important that young people have access to education, but, we've found that porn does not tend to be very educational. Like you've said, it is fantasy rather than reality.
We do know that young people do find and consume sexual media, in many different ways, which is why we focus on education here that acknowledges folks may have their own relationship with sexual media. You are 19 and no longer a child, so you can explore and enjoy media in whatever way feels right to you!
This article is one of our most thorough on sexual media, and I think reading it might be interesting to you: Making Sense of Sexual Media
As well as:
Sex on Screen: Reality-Checking Mainstream Porn
Looking, Lusting and Learning: A Straightforward Look at Pornography

[mika.m]

Actually by ethical porn, I meant feminist porn. I think I forgot to say that.
I read the articles and I'm thinking is there any porn that's not fantasy? a realistic porn(I think it's a paradox but you can get what I mean)

[mikky]

The same thing stands for feminist sexual media- what we consider feminist can vary SO much. Some people believe there can be no such thing, some believe that it depends on who is making it, others might think certain sex acts to be unfeminist, others would disagree wholeheartedly.

Like any media, some can have more realism than others. Like, the difference between a movie with CGI dragons and a video on my phone of a tree outside my window. I think that sexual media can certainly be more realistic (I'm saying media to include things like writing, drawing, etc), but when it is sent out into the world for someone else to consume, I think the consumption must involve at least some amount of fantasy. I think this might come down to a matter of opinion though! The way I see it, what makes porn porn is that is meant for entertainment. We also know that people find sexual entertainment and gratification from all types of media, with all types of intent behind their making.
Do you think that there could be or is porn that would have no element of fantasy? How do you think people would interact with that sort of media?

[mika.m]

First, feminist porn is about diversity, using real bodies and gender equality and I think because of that it's not bad for young people.
And about real porn, yeah every sexual acts could have a little bit fantasy and I think that's okay if the intention is promoting feminist ideas.
People will enjoy it because it's sex. And sex is something that everyone should be happy about.
And at least I think it would be okay if parents select porns that is okay to be watched by their children.

[Heather]

Hey, mika.

Porn is not usually created or intended to be sexual education, but, instead, to be entertainment, including most feminist porn. It's also not made with children or even teens in mind. There's a reason that even pleasure-based sex education like we give here doesn't include explicit images, and it's not because we're prudish or anti-sex, it's because what we do is informed by a lot of knowledge about child and human sexual development and best practices.

As a person who has been involved in sexual media work, and has long had friends and community who create feminist (and other kinds of) pornography, I can assure you that most people making porn would absolutely not be comfortable with their work being shown to children or think that's a good idea, and I think suggesting those folks would be somehow sex-negative because of that doesn't make sense. I also do not think that you're correct that most children are watching porn online (and even if so, I'd disagree that that just means adults should show it to them because in their personal opinion it's educational). We do have studies on this, and while it's not sound to say only a few have, because that's not the case, it's definitely not most children: https://www.aap.org/en/patient-care/med ... vcYDf2eWo1

I suspect child development isn't something you're likely well-versed in, but as with just about anything, we can't talk about children as a whole group because the developmental stages of childhood are so different from stage to stage, very much including when it comes to sexuality. It also sounds to me like you might not understand that when children don't even understand what sex is yet, seeing people engaging in sex -- especially people they don't know, who can't stop, like say, parents a kid has accidentally walked in on -- tends to be very confusing and even scary for many children. They lack the context that you, even just at 19, have, to even know what they're seeing, to understand if people are okay, etc. And adults, including parents, showing children explicit sexual material most often tends to result in trauma, which isn't surprising, because sexual boundaries in families are really important. Some young people who have experienced that kind of trauma come into these very services looking for help and support around it.

There's a lot more to say here -- I was in early childhood education before I worked in adolescent sex ed, and it's all just so much more complicated than you're suggesting -- but I'm afraid that really digging into this in that way just isn't something we have time for here.

I also would like to close this thread now because this kind of topic tends to land on search engines and bring us extra trolls, which we just never need around here. I know it's interesting to you, but thought-experiment posts like this jut really aren't right for us here, especially when you're talking about something that other users are here because they have trauma because of it. If and when you become a parent in your life and this becomes actually pertinent to you -- though I'm willing to bet that becoming a parent all by itself, or otherwise having a close relationship with a child as they grow, will likely change how you feel about this -- you're certainly welcome to circle back and ask about this, but for now, I need us to be done with this one. Thanks for your understanding in advance.