I am no longer atracted to my girlfriend and do not know how to talk about it

[Questionare]

Hi, before i start, I want to apologize for not replying on my last post, something came up, but my journey is going well so far.

Okay, so me and my girlfriend have been together for about 6 months and since she is my first partner, I have been exploring this side of life for the first time. Now about a month ago, I noticed that she changed in personality and I took it quite well but ever since the school year started, the relationship been going down hill. Now I find myself at a point where I realized, that I am just not ready for a relationship and I can not at this point in time maintain one. I wanted to talk about it with her, but when its a good time since I do not want to end the relationship the screaming I hate you and dont want to ever see you again way. I simply want to peacfully part ways. BUT there is a slight problem. Since she changed, she has been getting way more like pull us into the relationship more so she is at the peak of the honeymoon butterflies phase and my birthday is coming up and she is talking to me how its gonna be great, how shes got it all planed out and so on, so right now I cant talk about it because I dont want to break her heart right around this time. Now I find myself in a position where I am kept pulled into the relationship more and more and the exit time is fading. And on top of it I have no idea how you talk about any of it. So if you can, I'd be very happy with any advice there is. Thanks.

[Heather]

Hey there, Questionare. I think your honesty with yourself and how you're feeling is really admirable and important. I also really appreciate that you're here asking how to be honest about this with her in a kind and caring way.

I just wrote and published a series meant for people with partners who don't want to be sexual with them or n o longer want to be sexual with them. That sounds a little bit like you, in the other position. I think, though, that that series might still be really useful to you, particularly this last section of it: https://www.scarleteen.com/read/relatio ... was-sexual

What do you say you take a look at that, then circle back here and share your sense of what you'd like to do from here when it comes to this relationship? There's talk in that link of splitting altogether, or of changing the nature of the relationship, which feels like the two things you'll probably need to choose from here, or decide on together with your current girlfriend.

[Questionare]

Hi,I am sorry gor responding this late, but I have adresed some issues in my non-relationship life that affected the relationship. Now we will have a talk with my girlfriend about "us" and since some things changed (like me getting my mental health stable) it can have multiple outcomes. I hope it will go well, and maybe resolve some issues in the relationship itself like our lack of seeing each toher wich for a romantic relationship that is not long range has gone into the extreme. I hope to talk it out somehow and I will update on how it went.

[Sofi]

No worries, there's no rush to reply on here. We're here for you even if it takes months to come back. It sounds like you know what you want to do which is great. If you need some help through this conversation or process overall, feel free to come back to this post

[Questionare]

Hello again...
Yesterday I had more or less a sleepless night, where I thought over things to realize one thing. I am burnt out. Not just from the relationship but from everytging from school, rowing, even the boy scouts. While in this stage I think I was holding onto a relationship that has some problems, but I will cover that later on. I realized, that I might be holding onto something that has changed and I keep living the old version. Now, we met today after a long time, and I didmt want tp have the conversation just yet, because I recieved the birthday present and I didnt want to make it akward, but because I am burnt out and missed out on sleep recently as I just can not keep up with everything, I was so tired and "fried" that she basicly pushed me into this conversation. Now we adresed some problems like:
-We have not seen each other enogh. We are dating for 6 months and saw each other like only 8 times. It is my fault this happend because my schedule is so squished I hardly have any time left.
-We have different preferences and ideas of the relationship and we struggleto find a mid point.
-We are stuck in a point and cant move on. Since we started dating, every date is essentialy the same. We go outside, walk for a bit, sit somewhere, make out. On repeat. I do not like that in the 6 months, nothing has changed. Even when I try to iniciate to do something different it always ends up the same and I do not think a relationship should be based on that. We also didnt really do any other things like meeting each others parents and going to our homes and such. I feel like we are in the same point as when we started dating 6 months ago.
-I am not able to comunicate and text consistenly because of my tight schedule. There are weeks when we do not talk for 5 or more days.
-She has the free time I do not. Its always been if I had the time to go out.
-She acts a bit differently in private

I didnt want to talk about it today and we did. We agreed to try, but I am currently in a state when I want a relationship, but cant activly maintain it. It had also struck me that I just... I think she changed. When we had to part ways today it felt dofferent, like the dynamic has changed and I am really confused and on edge about what to do. I know I cant make my schedule better and I am on edge about the relationship. Maybe I am not ready for it in the current state. I really do not knkw what to do. We meet on sunday next and I dont know what I should do.