i think i might have vaginismus

[apureprincess]

at first, i assumed it was a normal thing to be way too tight when trying to insert my fingers inside, i mean i was 12 so i wasn't exactly the most sexually educated.. then i tried again and again multiple times. at 14, my boyfriend at the time tried fingering me but only was able to slide only his fingertips in before it started to hurt. sure, we didn't use lube at the time, so that was my next issue. maybe i just needed lube???

a little later i remember seeing a tiktok that mentioned vaginismus and i was interested. vaginismus?? they never taught that in sex ed? so as i am curious i go on and search it up. well i know tiktok isn't the best place to get research on a medical condition but it explained it simply enough that led me to be even more curious. i searched for symptoms listed in multiple different places, and started wondering if I have it since i struggle with all these symptoms. i even looked in vaginismus communities and found they had a lot of the same struggles i have. i still had my doubts, thinking "well how would i know if i have never touched lube? thats probably the issue here"

so a few weeks ago i tried water-based lube for the first time. i even used 2 different ones from different brands. still the same result, that being it feels like im hitting a wall each time i try that was basically the confirmation for me but again i still have my doubts as i still haven't gotten diagnosed for it. what else can i try to see if i have it? is it even worth trying anymore? should i just accept it for what it is?

[Heather]

Hi there, apureprincess.

So, I think there are a couple possibilities here, but I want to make sure that you know that the only person who could competently diagnose you with vaginismus is a healthcare provider. You can't yourself, and we can't, either. And since you're so worried about this, I do think that it would be a good idea to make an appointment with an OB/GYN just so you can know for sure. Is that care you think you can get access to?

It is possible vaginismus is what is happening here, though most typically, that will present a little differently, with the issue being at the entrance of the vagina, not only deeper in. It can feel like a wall, but it is usually more about strong muscle spasms that are basically trying to push out anything someone is trying to push in, or just kind of refusing to open the gates at all, as it were.

The other possibilities are: that that "wall" you are hitting is just the posterior side of your vaginal canal, and both you and your boyfriend are putting fingers in without understanding that the vaginal canal isn't something that goes straight back from the opening in a lot of positions, but instead, curls up. If someone is just pushing fingers straight back, instead of curling them up towards the front of your body, it can feel like you're describing. If you need help visualizing that, take a look at the diagram showing the side view of the vulvovaginal system about halfway down the page here: https://www.scarleteen.com/read/bodies/ ... every-body

Too, what you are describing can happen to people without vaginismus when they are scared or nervous. In order for the vagina to open up (it's closed when nothing is inside of it) to allow for things like fingers or toys, we have to be relaxed enough for those muscles to relax. If we're scared or nervous -- or in pain, like by not using lube or being too hasty with trying to do something with the vagina -- the vagina can basically act like someone has vaginismus, even if they don't, and just refuse to open further or cause pain when someone tries.

Again, I think your best bet would be to see a gynecologist, including that I think you will feel a lot better knowing for sure what is or isn't going on here. Too, continuing to try to push anything in when this response is happening isn't a good idea. If you do have vaginismus, it can make it worse, and even if you don't, it can make your brain associate anything vaginal with pain and that can ultimately even result in developing vaginismus when you didn't have it in the first place.