hi sex toy ask

[midnightsuuun]

is it legal to get a sex toy at 15 i js want one thats like kinda a hole idk that i can umm yk use but like i dont want my parents to know yk is that legal

[Heather]

Hi there.

It's legal for a young person to have a sex toy at any age. Legal issues with toys aren't usually on the consumer side, they are on the side of the seller -- in particular, in many areas, the UK included, sex toy sellers aren't supposed to let people under 18 into their shops or sell toys to them.

So, what can happen, then, is that young people can only access toys from mass retailers, like Amazon, who often sell toys that are cheap and aren't always the safest for bodies, like because they have been made with certain toxic chemicals, like PFAS, that we know aren't good for us, especially with body parts like our genitals, made of mucous membranes. If you are buying a toy for yourself, make sure you do what you can to check out what the toy was made of, and try to steer away from cheap toys made with toxic ingredients. <3

[midnightsuuun]

thank you honestly, i was a little scared to be judged at first and your orientation section bit made me laugh i love that, honestly i dont think im straight as much i think maybe i am aswell queery queer thats just my whole life

but i also have 2 questions
1. are you able to recommend me any brands that do sell safer ones on amazon? also maybe with discreet packaging like just a brown box or smth ykwim, ive seen lovehoney, but i dont know.

2. this is more of a question ill have to look up probably if you cant give an answer but i use a monzo under 16 account, can my parents see the exact item i buy or will it just show for example ''Amazon £12.99'' thats what google told me but my anxiety lmao

thank you

[Becky]

Hi midnightsuuun!

1. I don't know any specific brands that sell on Amazon. Just make sure you're looking for toys made of quality materials like body-safe silicone. As for packaging, it *should* come in a generic Amazon box. Just make sure you don't select "use original packaging" at checkout. I know that's an option sometimes.

2. Our founder double checked and it looks like because Monzo is supposed to be monitored it *does* show specific purchases.

[Heather]

You get to find out who you are across your whole lifetime! May it go as swimmingly as it can and be a good adventure for you. <3

We really can't suggest brands that are on Amazon, including because there are so, so many sellers on there it would be so difficult (and take up hours of our time, alas). BUT! What I can suggest is to look at stock at an actually-reputable and ethical sex shop (and maybe also consider buying online from them instead if you can, since Amazon sucks) to find what looks good to you that they carry -- shops like this will also usually list safety information with toys -- and then see
if Amazon has that brand, if you need to shop there. You can find shops like that by doing a search for "feminist sex toy shop" and your country or city (brands of toys tend to differ from continent to continent or country to country). A search like that gave me this, one, for example, which looks solid: https://pleasuregardenshop.co.uk/about-us/

I did just look at Monzo, and it very much looks like your parents will probably be able to see what you've purchased with it, I'm afraid. Sorry.

[midnightsuuun]

thank you for the suggestions and info. im also getting mixed answers about monzo. if i were to like last resort get one from amazon google is telling me it would just show my parents '' Amazon £12.99'' or something like that or do you actually mean they can see the specific item i bought?

thank you

[Heather]

I can't say for sure, but I looked on the Monzo site (google summaries are all AI now, don't ever trust them for good info!): https://monzo.com/ie/current-account/under-16s

What I saw there just didn't give me confidence what you bought wouldn't show up. But it's worth asking: does it matter if they do know? Do you think they'd have an issue with it or even say anything to you about it? I ask because a lot of parents wouldn't.

[midnightsuuun]

i dont really know whether theyd have an issue or not but i know i would, i kind of prefer to do these things on my own as im like super uncomfortable talking abt these things w others. and i think id never want to have sex with someone unless im genuinly inlove, its kinda feeling like something thats holding me back and i just wanna like see how it feels

[midnightsuuun]

and also like if anyone knew that would just completely put me off thats just a me thing

[Sofi]

Gotcha, that's understandable. It's fully your right to want to keep things like this private if you prefer to. Unfortunately we really can't verify or confirm how it would show up, so not sure if that's your best option to go with. I do want to mention there are ways to make your own sex toys safely, we have an article about it you can read here: D.I.Y Sex Toys: Self-Love Edition. It might be best for now to try something like this instead of rushing into buying one if you aren't comfortable with the possibility of your parents seeing what you bought. And, of course, we are here to answer any questions you have to help you have a safe experience. <3

[midnightsuuun]

ive tried but i dont really have any of those materials needed i mean i have toilet paper and a sock but it doesnt feel thaat good idk since its such a hassle

IDK if this is weird but i also wanted to ask is it worth this trouble. like is a actual sex toy even that big of a diff to ur hand. like if not i just wont bother bc its not like the end of the world lmao

thank u

[Becky]

It's not so different in the sense that both can be used to masturbate and successfully provide sexual pleasure. Definitely the sensations are different but both are good in their own way. Some people prefer one over the other or changing it up with both.

If you're still interested in a vibrator, did you see in the DIY article about buying an electric toothbrush? You can use the back of the head (not the bristley part) while it's vibrating.

I know sex toys are really interesting but at your age they can also be a hassle with trying to have privacy while living in your parents house. If you're using your hands and feeling good, maybe a sex toy can wait?

[midnightsuuun]

i have good news: i just looked on monzo and found actual information that my parents cant see what item i bought, but neither can i , which is probably questionable for monzo but thats not my issue, i kind of just want literally like a hole, like i dont want a vibrating thing, like i just want like a kind of just a hole thatll work u know what i mean.

[midnightsuuun]

hi, i found one i might get its 9£ if i sent a link could you guys check if its safe im like not good at that stuff

[HannahP]

Hi midnightsuuun! We can't verify a specific toy for you, but I do recommend you read this article, which lists the safe materials for strokers (plus other helpful information like how to clean them): How to Play with Toys: Strokers.