♡2 years ago when I was 19, my ex raped me an hour away from home. We were at a BNB by the beach, on our first beach trip. When we came back from the beach and cleaned off at the BNB, he asked if we should finally have sex. I expressed that I wasn’t ready and said no many times that day prior and then. He got visibly frustrated and angry, and said he spent a lot of money, and that it’ll bring us closer. Out of fear and guilt, I gave in. Not only did i regret it, but it took me time later to realize that he raped me.
When confronted about it later, he denied it, and said just because I regretted it doesn’t mean he raped me. And other unflattering words. For some reason…because I was dumb, I brushed it off for abit, because I didn’t want issues. He broke up with me in October 2024, and we remained in contact as ‘friends’, until April of this year when i decided to just…cut him off. I blocked him on everything I could think of.
Clarifying, I am 21 now, so from 15 to 19 i was with him. This coercive behavior was consistent in our relationship. I was so young, and I wanted to be in love so bad, I put up with it. I was also violated many times in childhood, and he knew this, Again, I am fine now.
Yesterday night I saw a follow request from him from a burner I wasn’t aware of. While i did ignore it, I checked my message requests just in case. He said ‘can we talk’. Though I knew better, I reply today, ‘what do you take me for’, because genuinely…what did he take me for.
To keep it short, we went back n forth about it again. Ultimately he ended up sending a long message saying basically ‘if you really wanna push your opinion so bad i’ll say it, i’m sorry i raped you, etc etc.’ That was my last straw, because it wasn’t genuine, and I realized it’ll never be. I blocked him. And as of 4:36pm, a random number has contacted me asking if i’m my name. Great.
But yes, I just wanted to let this out. I do regret even texting, but it could’ve been worse. It was a lot for me to even get out, but I hope with doing this, it’ll help heal me more than I already was before he reached out again. :3 ♡ thankssss.