Girl thinks she's pregnant, what am I supposed to do?
-
Heather
- scarleteen founder & director
- Posts: 11197
- Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 1:43 pm
- Age: 56
- My Awesomeness Quotient: I have been a sex educator for nearly 30 years!
- My primary language: english
- My pronouns: they/them
- My sexual identity and orientation: queery-queer-queer
- Location: Chicago
Re: Girl thinks she's pregnant, what am I supposed to do?
Hey, rodi. My partner saw this, too, so he's willing to pop back in if you'd like to talk more to him, but I just wanted to check in on you, too.
I figured when you were so quiet is was probably because you'd been having a hard time. I'm really sorry to hear that. I'm also so sorry that it's so rough between the two of you. I really, really wish there could be at least one older, supportive adult, one good with interpersonal conflicts, in this mix who was willing and able to help mediate between you. You two are going through such giant things together, and that's always going to be hard, but it's really, really hard when people are going through something together without the benefit of a good, strong relationship to go through it together in.
Are you still working with a therapist? Might this be something they can help with?
If I may, I'd suggest that with things that aren't giant stakes for you -- like a name -- you try and just defer to Marcela. I know you both are having a hard time right now, and this isn't easy for either of you, but as the person who is herself pregnant, who has to go through labor and all of the often-tough physical, chemical and emotional aftermath of a birth and THEN also become a primary parent, I think it's fair to say things are extra hard for her right now. So, anything you have the power to make easier for both of you, which may sometimes just be agreeing to disagree, or giving over power to her with something (like naming), may be something you can make easier for both of you just by choosing not to fight about it, you know?
How can we best support *you* right now?
I figured when you were so quiet is was probably because you'd been having a hard time. I'm really sorry to hear that. I'm also so sorry that it's so rough between the two of you. I really, really wish there could be at least one older, supportive adult, one good with interpersonal conflicts, in this mix who was willing and able to help mediate between you. You two are going through such giant things together, and that's always going to be hard, but it's really, really hard when people are going through something together without the benefit of a good, strong relationship to go through it together in.
Are you still working with a therapist? Might this be something they can help with?
If I may, I'd suggest that with things that aren't giant stakes for you -- like a name -- you try and just defer to Marcela. I know you both are having a hard time right now, and this isn't easy for either of you, but as the person who is herself pregnant, who has to go through labor and all of the often-tough physical, chemical and emotional aftermath of a birth and THEN also become a primary parent, I think it's fair to say things are extra hard for her right now. So, anything you have the power to make easier for both of you, which may sometimes just be agreeing to disagree, or giving over power to her with something (like naming), may be something you can make easier for both of you just by choosing not to fight about it, you know?
How can we best support *you* right now?
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
-
rodi
- not a newbie
- Posts: 83
- Joined: Tue Mar 17, 2026 3:06 pm
- Age: 15
- My Awesomeness Quotient: Discipline
- My primary language: DE EN PT
- My pronouns: He/him
- My sexual identity and orientation: Straight
- Location: Brazil
Re: Girl thinks she's pregnant, what am I supposed to do?
My dad is trying, but her parents are pretty hostile to us. Im still going to the therapist and i talked to her about it, she says things.
The problem is that she wants to name him after me which is obviously trying to manipulate me, she said some things to me too. There's already me.
I dont know, you work with young parents, you can tell me how things will be alright.
The problem is that she wants to name him after me which is obviously trying to manipulate me, she said some things to me too. There's already me.
I dont know, you work with young parents, you can tell me how things will be alright.
-
- Similar Topics
- Replies
- Views
- Last post