How to tell if someone who is bad at texting likes you

[Sabine]

I have this crush and I want to know whether she likes me and especially during quarantine, I really want to know whether she will have some relationship (or friendship) during or after its over.

Some the backstory: I met her on an online dating site where we matched. We hit it off because we have a lot in common, such as the types of horror films she likes and other types of films we do like. There’s so many other things we have in common such as that we are both cancers and so much more. Then quarantine happened and I had to go to Europe to go to my family. She accidentally deleted her profile and created a new one. We matched again. I messaged her and she didn’t respond immediately and I texted “I’m sorry I overtext sometimes, I get too excited sometimes”. Once she did, she said I didn’t have to apologize, she in fact apologized for not checking her phone. She follows my replies up with her detailed answers and asks me some questions. She even loved the graffiti pictures I sent her and appreciates my sweet messages.

Then, she followed me back on Letterboxd (which she showed on an earlier text). Then, she texted be linking me to follow her on a social media site, which she followed me back. I DMed her and then listened to the podcast she recommended it, she DMed me back.

Recently, I asked my crush to video chat and I am anxious to find out whether she likes me and whether she wants to back. I want to figure it out so bad! How can I tell? How should I ask once she replies and once we may (or may not) video chat? This is never been discussed in this forum, so I really would like some answers on this forum.

[Sam W]

Hi Sabine,

You've already hit on what my main piece of advice is going to be, which is to ask her what kind of relationship (be that romantic or platonic) she wants to have with you. How you go about asking that depends a lot on what feels most comfortable for you, but generally it helps to be as straightforward and honest as you can, even if it feels awkward at first. Too, you mention that you two matched on a dating site. One way to have the conversation is to point that out, and ask if she's interested in dating you since that's where you two met. Does that sound doable?

[Sabine]

Hey that sounds doable! I really though want to do it in the most nice and sexiest way possible. Like flirty way, like first date lesbian couples do.

[Mo]

I think what's going to be best is to ask in a way that feels most natural to you! If she likes you I think she'll want to hear things in your authentic voice, and not in your idea of what other people might do or find sexy. Does that make sense?

[Sabine]

Yes, probably when she replies or when we videochat. I hope she does very soon on either site.

Also, I want to explain my situation to her but how do to that? Like I live in California, but I am in Austria for the time being because my American parents work here?

[Alice M]

Hi Sabine!

In my experience, these logistical questions tend to come up pretty naturally when you're getting to know someone, romantic interest or not. If it were me, I'd start by asking them about where they live and where they're from and I imagine that you can share your situation during that conversation... much like you explained it here. Does that make sense?

[Sabine]

Thank you so much Alice. She is pretty interested about what is like being Austria and loves my graffiti pictures that I send her. She wants to even go to Austria. So, is that a sign that she is interested in me as a person?

[Sabine]

Like I am also really confused because on the dating site she deleted her profile picture again, so I requested to be her friend and I clicked the button on the new profile. So should I have, since I am also following her on the social media sight. She also saw my story, but didn’t read my messages. But, I know that she takes all the time in the world to respond to messages and doesn’t check her phone. She once took about 3 weeks to send a message to me. I really want to call her and message her and I am willing to be patient, but I am just so confused about what she thinks of me. What do you think?

[Heather]

I'm going to pick this up in your new thread where you also included this information, Sabine. See you over there: viewtopic.php?f=14&t=10033