Can I purposefully desensitise my clit?

[AJbrandnew]

I've been masturbating through my underwear for most of my life (my post history has more detail). I really want to try orgasming from directly clitoral stimulation or have a vaginal orgasm at least once, even if it doesn't become a regular thing.

However, when I touch my clitoris directly, it can be somewhat overstimulating. It doesn't hurt, and it gives me some pleasure, but I think the overstimulation I feel would make it difficult to orgasm.

Basically, my plan is to keep going at it until I somewhat desensitise my clitoris and the sensation becomes more pleasurable than overwhelming. I'm willing to put the effort in even if this takes me a few weeks, but what I want to know is if it's even possible to desensitise the clitoris like this?

[Sam W]

Hi AJbrandnew,

It might be possible to get used to or comfortable with the sensation of direct clitoral stimulation, but that's really more about desensitizing your brain rather than your body. It may not be the most helpful direction to take things; sometimes trying to push past over-stimulation can tip straight into discomfort, which makes pleasure or orgasm way harder to achieve. However, you can also experiment a bit to see if the over-stimulation tends to go away on it's own after a few seconds, or if continuing to touch your clitoris keeps feeling pleasurable even with that sensitivity.

[Thea Kat]

Hey,

I know this post is a few months old and Sam's answer above is AWESOME but just wanted to jump in with one more thing for future readers of this thread: "sensitivity" is kind of a complex idea, and sometimes "sensitivity" can just mean that one type of touch really doesn't work for you, but others might and that's totally awesome.

I was kind of in the same boat as you in that for the longest time, I only masturbated through my underwear. I would say that I'm have pretty sensitive bits. The sensitivity never went away, so I wouldn't say that I "desensitized" anything, but I did figure out ways of touching myself that felt better. I would recommend:

a) Experimenting with touching different areas. For me, the left side of my clit is more sensitive than the right (and that's actually not uncommon for folks with vulvas), and for some people touching the hood can feel better than directly stimulating the head.
b) Easing into it gradually (ex. touching lightly, then stopping) so that you ONLY do what feels good. Sometimes approaching masturbation with a "teasing" or "foreplay" mentality can help if you're really sensitive, because arousal level can influence sensitivity. If I go straight for the head, first thing, that can sometimes be really overstimulating.
b) LUBE: for me, the friction of unlubricated touch is SUPER uncomfortable and can even be a turn-off, which then makes me less into it and overall just uncomfortable. Not a good scene. Of course everyone is different but if you haven't tried it I would def recommend giving it a shot (you can get lube from youth clinics or from Scarletteen if you're under 18 and can't go to a sex shop)!

I like to think of sensitivity as just "having a very particular clit", and that can be annoying sometimes but there's nothing wrong with it!

[Heather]

This is great added advice, Thea, thanks for pitching in!