Sexual desires

[Nina_06]

I’m talking to this guy, and we’re long-distance so we decided we’re not going to date but just talk (more than friends though, we call practically everyday and text very often). I really like him, but the problem is that he gets mad at the smallest things, such as me not showing my face on videocall for a few seconds, or when I take a bit longer to text back (I rarely even do this). Because of this, he says that he won’t ever trust me and that I must do what he says or he’ll stop talking to me. Lately he’s asked for nudes and videos of me orgasming, with my face and everything. I am a minor, and I’m not really comfortable with doing this especially when my face is in the video/photo but he will stop talking to me if I don’t send it.. what do I do?!

[Mo]

Hi Nina_06, and welcome to Scarleteen.

I'm sorry to say this, since you say you really like this guy, but he's acting in ways that are not at all okay or respectful to you; I don't think this is someone who's going to be safe to talk to in the long term.

Any time someone not only doesn't accept a no, when you try to draw a boundary, but gets angry and threatens to cut off communication over it, that's a huge deal! It's a sign that he isn't interested in respecting you or your boundaries. And that's setting aside the fact that you're a minor, which makes all of this a lot more concerning! He knows it isn't okay or even legal to solicit nudes from you but he's doing it anyway, and framing it as something you should do to earn his trust when he's pretty clearly being untrustworthy and unkind to you.

Someone who cares about you won't get angry if you don't respond immediately, or if you don't want to show your face or send nudes. They won't try and manipulate you into doing things you aren't comfortable with by threatening to stop talking to you. They won't ever say "you have to do what I say." It sounds like you don't want him to stop talking to you, but in all honesty I think you choosing to stop talking to him is going to be the best and safest choice for you.