body issues

[nav]

hey,
okay where do I start,
I'm 17, turning 18 in a few months, I've had my period for the last 5 years or so, I've always had a fear of looking down there because I just got icky I think. I recently had a boyfriend that I was so comfortable around, and I thought it was time for me to figure out my body if I was to have sex anytime soon.
with respect to masturbation, I've been masturbating for a long time, I can clitorally stimulate myself very easily, however when it comes to fingering myself, I haven't quite found a hole down there, it's supposed to be right below the urethral opening but it's nothing but a wall and I can't seem to push in. How will I fit a penis if I can't even fit a finger or even find the opening? it's getting a little frustrating because it's my body and I should be able to find it but it's a pain trying to figure out why I can't seem to push in with my finger.

note: the boyfriend's long gone and I want to continue figuring out my body on my own, pls help

[Siân]

Hi there nav

It's great that you're starting to explore your body and figure out what you like and want!

In terms of finding your vaginal opening, if you felt up to getting a mirror and taking a look I think that would help a lot. It's also good to have some idea of what "normal" looks like for you, so that if anything ever feels off you have something to compare it to. Can you say a bit more about what that "icky" feeling you get is about?

It sounds like the first step here is to find your vaginal opening. All bodies vary, and the distance between your vaginal opening and your clitoris may be bigger than you think - yes it's the other side of your urethral opening, but may be further towards the back of your body than you think - check out the picture of the vulva in this article for what I mean: Innies & Outies: The Vagina, Clitoris, Uterus and More

To find your vaginal opening by feel, I would suggest sliding a lubricated finger between your inner labia, gently gliding it back and forth until you feel a depression. Since your vagina isn't a perfectly round hole that just sits there open, but rather is a muscular organ that at rest sits folded shut against itself, you might feel a little resistance if you try to push your fingers in too fast. Being turned on helps, and so does going slow and using lube - if it hurts, that's your body telling you to stop. Listen to it. Vaginas aren't passive organs, they can actively welcome your fingers in, or they can tense up and pushing past that is a recipe for pain. Maybe you want to try this over a number of sessions - just finding where that entrance is a few times before diving in! Does that help?