I feel no sexual stimulation.

[berrypou]

well hi! umm, this is a little awkward so im sorry. other sources aren't giving me exact answers so..here goes nothing haha.

whenever i touch myself, or someone else does it, i feel no sexual stimulation. like, nothing at all. it just feels like im touching any other normal part of my body. same thing when other people do it. i never seem to get any sexual stimulation from it. and its just so awkward when he tries to do something and i just sit there with no reaction i can get aroused with no problem, but i can never act on it because there's nothing i can do. I've tried a whole bunch of techniques, i even tried to watch informative videos for it (awkwaaarrd.) but nothing works. its sooo frustrating. is my body weird or something?

[Sam W]

Hi berrypou,

If it helps to know, you're far from the first person to ask a question like this, so you're not the only person whose body has this experience. To start of with, do you find it pretty easy to feel pleasure (even if it's not sexual pleasure) from other things? That could getting a massage, eating something you really like, having your hair brushed, things like that.

Can you give me a sense of what your brain is doing when you try to masturbate or be sexual with a partner? Is it turned on and ready to go throughout the process? Are you focused on what's going on, or is your mind wandering or focusing on things that worry you or stress you out?

[berrypou]

ah, im glad im not the only one..i was a little nervous there.

i usually only feel a sort of 'pleasure' from when my legs (mostly my thighs) are touched (not by myself, it only works when someone else is doing it)

when i do attempt to masturbate, my brain is only focused on trying to get stimulation. and if i am aroused when i try it, i very rarely ever feel anything thats along the lines of a sexual sensation. its normally just a dull feeling. recently as i've been trying my mind has been wandering, at this point i've tried so much but nothings working and im almost about to give up.

[Sam W]

I mean, you don't have to give up entirely, but taking a break might actually help you out some; if you've been trying and trying and not feeling much, that kind of frustration and pressure is going to make it harder to feel pleasure.

When do you decide to masturbate, if your mind is either wandering or focused on "do I feel anything? How about now? Now?" that can also decrease the chances of it feeling pleasurable. Our brains are our biggest sexual organs, so if they're not engaged in what's going on, we don't tend to enjoy it. I really like the suggestions this article offers for connecting with fantasies: How to Approach Sexual Fantasy and Desire on Your Own Terms.