No pleasure

[Fluxx]

I’m a 17 year old trans guy and have a great boyfriend who lives about 2 hours away. There’s a lot of attraction both romantic and sexual and I find myself aroused often but nothing I do brings any pleasure. I’ve tried everything I can think of and looked up guides and anatomy multiple times with no results. I even tried going off my medication because I heard they can cause similar effects but that didn’t work either. I’m out of ideas and feeling awful. I’m not sure if I’m doing something wrong but I feel like my body is broken. Is there anything I can do?

[Sam W]

Hi Fluxx,

This sounds like a really frustrating situation! I promise you there's nothing wrong or broken about your body; a lot more people struggle with arousal or pleasure than gets talked about, which has the nasty side effect of making you feel like you're the only person dealing with it.

To make sure I'm not missing an obvious difference, do you have the same troubles with pleasure when you masturbate? Or is it only during partnered sex?

When you do experiment with sexual touch with your partner, what does it feel like? Does it feel uncomfortable? No different from if someone touches your shoulder? Something else entirely?

It is also possible that medication is playing a role, since some medications can have sexual side effects. Would you feel comfortable talking with a healthcare provider about those concerns and seeing what they recommend?