Did I have an orgasm?

[Glorious]

Hi,

Totally new here. I'm a 24-year-old nonbinary person with a vulva/vagina/clitoris (etc). I have been masturbating since I was probably 11 or 12 but I realised recently that sexual fantasies are really important for masturbation to feel like a sexual experience (rather than just sort of running routine maintenance of my body). When I tried masturbating to a sexual fantasy for the first time the other night, I think I experienced my first orgasm. At the time it was like, yes! This is what it is! But now I have doubts.

I was rubbing my clitoris and my whole back arched. My eyes and mouth were wide open, impossible to shut. I was making expressions with my face that I couldn't replicate if I tried. I was breathing really fast and it sort of turned into me saying oh-oh-oh or huh-uh-uh. My other hand was clutching my blankets, I guess I felt like I needed something to hold on to? It felt lovely, absolutely blissful and glorious, I really felt like I was awash in glory. And then things kind of slowed down and I thought it was over but a few minutes later that whole thing happened again, but felt even more pleasurable. It happened three times in total! I felt warm and satisfied afterwards, like you feel after a full workout. The next night I tried again to the same result, but this "peak" must have happened four or five times.

The thing is, reading up on it, I think it lasted too long to be an orgasm? It definitely felt longer than a few seconds, and I wasn't paying attention to involuntary muscle movements. I want to try again and pay closer attention but I'm just not in the mood right now. I start a sexual fantasy and my brain keeps wandering off, before I even get to the masturbation bit. Maybe some other day!

The thing is, if this is orgasm, I'm glad it happened now and not sooner in my life. Even though I'm 24 and there are lots of teens on here who are really trying to experience orgasm! It took this time to consolidate all the "bits" of my life - physical, social, emotional, spiritual - in a way that is meaningful for my sexuality. If I'd experienced orgasm sooner, even just a few months ago, I don't think I would have felt okay with it - it certainly wouldn't have been as meaningful.

Orgasm or not, it really felt wonderful & definitely boosted my confidence. Absolutely glorious. Looking forward to being intimate with myself again!

[Heather]

Welcome to the boards, Glorious.

So, this certainly sounds like an orgasmic experience. More specifically, it sounds to me both like what's often called serial or multiple orgasm, and like the kind of orgasmic experience someone has when they're very turned on and very relaxed in their body, and just kind of letting go into the experience. Often in orgasm, especially intense ones like that, we can lose sense of time and things can both seem longer than they're really happening for, but also the spaces in between do stretch out that time.

Now, orgasm won't always be like that. Orgasm is a lot like, say, how we feel when eating something, or when being touched by someone. How it feels and how that experience goes runs a whole gamut, a very wide range. Sometimes it'll happen but be almost like nothing, and other times it can be like this, like you experienced!

[Glorious]

Thank you, Heather, for your wisdom and insight! I was definitely feeling very aroused and relaxed - and safe and well-loved (the fantasies REALLY help with all that).

I was back in the "mood" and tried again tonight and found the experience almost exactly the same. Just wonderful, I still feel all aglow. I probably "peaked" four or five times again. I paid better attention this time and did notice lots of involuntary muscle movements. I really have no doubt at this point that I am experiencing orgasm. You're right, we all experience time a little funny, don't we?

I certainly don't expect every orgasm to be the same - or to orgasm every time I masturbate! I don't even go into it with the goal of orgasm, my intention is just to be intimate with myself, so it's a pleasant surprise. I do feel very grounded, beloved, and attuned to myself right now. I'm going to go with the flow and pay attention to where my body & brain are at.

Thanks again!