Oral sex

[ojh22]

I gave my boyfriend unprotected oral sex yesterday, and neither of us have had any sexual partners at all, just each other. I know the risk of STIs are still present, but how worried should I be about it? It makes me think that the risk is very low considering we are both still virgins. I guess this is just a question based on curiosity, but if you could answer it that would be great. Thank you!

[Jacob]

Hi Oj!

I suppose if I take your question really literally, I wonder why anyone 'should' be worried about anything at all... If we're speaking about just being worried, experiencing discomfort and self-doubt, that doesn't sound too pleasant! I'd say being aware is way more desirable.

Neither being worried, nor being aware, necessarily stop us from ever ever getting infections all the time, but most of the time awareness is going be a thing that helps us make good decisions and avoid transmission of STIs.

Given how aware you are of how STIs pass, and how the risk of some STIs may be low (some, however, spread skin-to-skin and might not need you to be sexually active)... is there anything you feel like you want to know more about?

[ojh22]

I guess I was just wondering how possible it is that he could have one. Part of me believes that he could have some and the other part doesn't. Isn't it true that STIs can be passed on by birth?

[Heather]

Some can, yes. But someone who contracted HIV at birth, for example, is not at all likely to have gotten this old without serious health problems. Unless your boyfriend did not get any healthcare as an infant, at all, and his mother got no health screenings during her pregnancy, him having an STI he contracted at birth without knowing? Nope.

Really, for those who want to best prevent STIs, what we know is most effective is practicing safer sex. That means barrier use for things like intercourse and oral sex and regular testing. Since you two have now each had a sexual partner, starting that testing soon is what is most sound, especially if you are not using barriers. Worrying and wondering offers you neither information nor prevention.