Is my hymen stopping me from experiencing penetrative masturbation?

[Lueii]

Hello, I’m about to be 19 and I’m an ftm trans guy. I’ve never had sex with a partner but I’m starting to explore masturbation as it was something I was afraid of when I was younger.
I’ve just gotten my first sex toy and clitoral stimulation feels great, though I want to try penetrative masturbation as I am attracted to men and would likely end up having sex with one someday- and I want to be prepared; but it’s been really tough to figure out. I know where my vaginal opening is, but inserting fingers or the toy doesn’t give any pleasure, and it’s a little painful. It feels like something in my vagina is in the way of things being inserted, like there is a wall that just blocks anything from entering, and nothing can go inside me further than an inch or two.

During my period once I tried to push past that “wall” with a tampon, and the tampon of course didn’t fully fit into my vagina, until I felt a “break” or tearing sensation inside me before the tampon slid fully in. This ended up sending my body into shock and I vomited from whatever broke or tore. Ever since then I’ve been trying to carefully continue to explore inside me using toys and my fingers gently, but that wall still seems to be there and doing the hook finger technique does nothing for me. Is that just a really strong hymen, or am I just going about this incorrectly? Is this worth trying to figure out or should I just stick to clitoral stimulation if that’s the only thing that gets me off?

[Sam W]

Hi Lueii,

Ouch, that sounds like a really rough tampon experience!

There are a few different things that could be going on here. When you've tried inserting fingers during masturbation, have you been using a lot of lube? And are you already pretty aroused and relaxed by the time you try?

Too, while the hymen (or vaginal corona) is a mucous membrane that's flexible and not really something that "breaks," it is possible to have on that's on the thicker side, which can contribute to a feeling of pain if someone inserts something. You can also see some illustrations in this article of different ways the vaginal corona can be arranged: My Corona: The Anatomy Formerly Known as the Hymen & the Myths That Surround It

[Lueii]

Hi,

I think I might’ve figured it out after posting. Every time I attempt insertion I’m not really in a state of arousal, I just see it as another attempt, so I think I’ll try again when I’m actually in the mood. Ive also been trying only one position (lying flat on my back) and after changing it up I realize that the first position was really uncomfortable. I also don’t use any lube as when I’m aroused enough my body gets itself very wet, is that something also worth trying?

I don’t know if and when I’ll try tampons again because of that experience, if my corona is still there it must be really thick. I’ll have to check with a gynocolegist on that..

Thank you for your response

[Sam W]

I think you're on to something with the arousal idea! And yes, it'd be worth it to add some lube into the mix; lube can really help masturbation be more comfortable and pleasurable.