Hymen Issues?

[cosmo.naught]

Hey, it's my first time using this space so sorry if I sound too formal or awkward

I'm 17y/o, a virgin, and worried that I might have a microperforate hymen. For those who don't know, that's when they hymen is very thick, very present, difficult to penetrate, and has a hole small enough to let period blood out.

I've looked at myself in a mirror and haven't seen much. Occasionally I can see a small hole, about the size of the head of a pin, where I think the normal sized opening should be. No matter how aroused I am, I can't fit a single finger in. I've never tried tampons, but I'm about to when I get my next period. Will it even fit?? Where will it go?

I have a boyfriend whom I'd quite like to have sex with within the next few months. We're both virgins. I just don't want to reach the moment when we're supposed to have our first time and have nothing happen or have it be excruciatingly painful. I've already planned on asking my mom to see a gynecologist so I can get birth control and some general sex/health advice, but now I'm worried I may need surgery for the issue I think I have with my hymen. Is there a chance my parents could deny it or prevent me from getting an operation?

A lot of my period experiences also line up with a microperforate hymen. I have abdominal pain and cramp for days on end when I get my period, so bad that it can hurt to walk. My periods are unpredictable: My last period was over a week late and the one before that was over two weeks early. I also have periods that are frequently quite long.

What should I do? I'm a bit freaked out about the whole thing and about the idea that there may be something wrong down there that could require surgery.

[Michaela]

Hi cosmo.naught and welcome to Scarleteen!

It sounds like this is causing you quite a lot of distress at the moment. So, it seems you have the right idea to make an appointment with a gynecologist to talk through some of these worries. I think it's important to not get too ahead of yourself here with the idea of surgery etc. and instead focus on what you can do now to help yourself feel more at ease.

The first step would be to talk to your parents about making that appointment. How are you feeling about starting a conversation with your mom about this concern? If you have to wait a few weeks for that appointment, do you feel comfortable only using pads again for your next menstrual period and bringing up your worries about tampons with your provider? Have you talked to your partner about these worries around sex that you have?

Those are some questions and great first steps but I'm going to link a couple of articles (one about the vaginal corona, also called the hymen, and two about doctor/gyn visits) that you might find helpful to read through in preparation as well.

• My Corona: The Anatomy Formerly Known as the Hymen

• Dealing with Doctors

• Your First Gynecologist Visit

What are your thoughts after looking through these?