Are my masturbation habits normal?

[RowleinL]

Hi there,

Recently, I have a habit to masturbate without ejaculation, is it normal? Is it ok if my body re-absorb the sperm again and again? because I always stop before reaching point of no return (multiple times), but I feel my testicle getting so swollen. Also, I always have erection all the time and feeling horny everyday. Despite that, I am afraid that I will have problem with the system down there if I do it too often (in days/weeks). I am wondering if semen/sperm is like saliva? They can be re-produced and recycled very quickly?

My second question is about fantasy that I have. I tend to find an attractive woman face (can be friends, teacher, or celebrities) when I masturbate and sometimes even ejaculate on the picture. Do I have a masturbation disorder? or something weird with me? I find it very arousing to do that. But , I want to know what is a woman perspective if she knows this because I feel like I have to tell my partner in a relationship later.

I am so embarrassed to ask these questions, but thank you for the honest answers.

[Carly]

Hey RowleinL -- welcome to the boards. I'm happy to help answer some of these questions.

It sounds like you are describing edging, is that right? There no serious health risks associated with that. Occasionally, it can cause epididymal hypertension, aka "blue balls." This will feel like pain and aching in the testicles. When you say that you feel your testicle getting swollen, is this perhaps what you're feeling? If you are noticing significant swelling, it may be unrelated to masturbation and may require a medical professional. And, sperm gets reabsorbed into the body will no real issue.

And no, you do not have a masturbation disorder. You're describing something very common. Knowing that, how do you feel about talking to a future partner about it? There's no right or wrong answer here!

[RowleinL]

Thanks Carly for the help! It feels great that I can be open and talk about it. I really appreciate it! I wanna talk more about it, if that's ok?

Yes, its definitely edging. But, I usually end it without ejaculation and keep repeating it. It's not just my testicle that feels swollen but also around the base of my penis, you know like the area before I ejaculate, I believe it's the build up semen/cum in the duct. Sometimes, the semen is just leaking out if I don't let it ejaculate and I like to do that multiple times in short interval. Is it healthy for body to re-absorb sperm and/or semen that fast? How long does semen stay in the seminal duct? After I've done masturbating, I get hard erection all day and it feels so tinglish around penis area like a build up besides horny feeling. Is it healthy for penis to erect all the time? Or is it better to ejaculate when masturbate? because sometimes I feel depleted and no energy after ejaculating. Or is there a way to balance it?

In regards to my second question, good to know it's a common behavior! But is it really ok to tell a woman that I masturbate to your picture because we haven't had sex yet or because you are beautiful? Do women like it when men masturbate to their face/picture?

Honestly, I don't have courage to tell her that. But, I also think that woman won't masturbate to male pictures/face. That's why I feel a bit creepy and better keep it a secret. Or maybe I am wrong here?

Thanks again!

[Elise]

Hi there RowleinL, there isn't any health risk in waiting for your erection to go down. This is actually called "vasocongestion" and is actually about the increased bloodflow to your genitals (which is what makes an erection happen) rather than semen build up. As such, relieving the pressure is done via ejaculation, or waiting for the bloodflow to reduce over time. There is nothing dangerous about waiting for the pressure to come down, and you can read more about this here: FBI Files: Vasocongestion, AKA: Blue Balls. In terms of feeling spent after masturbation, this is something many people feel, a mix of the hormones released at that time that make us feel relaxed and happy, and the relax of muscle tension may have you feeling tired afterwards. If you notice that the more you edge, the more pre tention you build up before you release, it might help to experiment with how much tension you build up and how strong the feeling of release (via orgasm/ejaculation) is to you at the end.
You might find these articles about masturbation useful as well:

• Sexual Response & Orgasm: A Users Guide
• Going Solo: The Basics of Masturbation

With regards to how long it is healthy to have an erection, if you have an erection that lasts longer than four hours you should see a doctor about why the blood flow is taking longer than should be expected to go down.

In terms of what you do about masturbating to a picture of someone and if/when you communicate that to them, there are some things to remember and consider:

• Remembering that the fantasy is just yours within your head, and the other person isn't a participant in it. You can think of this as that you are responding to the image as a prompt, and on its own, and not interacting with the actual person the image was taken of. It is therefore important to remember that they are an individual person that you must respect and see as a full person rather than just the fantasy object that is the image, does that make sense?
• Remembering that because the fantasy is just that, fantasy, it is not real, so the way that the person behaves with you in real life, and the intimacy of your relationship etc. doesn't change if you've fantasised about them, as they weren't part of the interaction.
• Telling someone that you masturbate to their image is a very sexually charged thing to say, so would only be okay to say if you were in a situation where you and a partner had consented to this kind of sexual communication. As it is sexually charged and extremely intimate, it far more sexual than saying that you find someone attractive and that you'd like to date them, so it wouldn't be appropriate to bring it up in the context of wanting to date someone or ask them out. However if you and a partner have both consented to communicating with each other in a sexual way for the purposes of turning each other on/as part of sex, then it could be something you say.
• You also have no obligation to tell a partner every one of your fantasies unless you want to, as they are your own and what you only imagine isn't a form of infidelity, but a regular part of human sexuality.

On this topic, you may find these articles useful:

• I’m having sex fantasies about my crush
• How to Approach Sexual Fantasy and Desire on Your Own Terms

If you have any questions, observations or curiosities about the above information that you feel comfortable sharing with us here, please don't hesitate to do so!

[RowleinL]

Wow, thank you Elise for the detailed explanation! it is really helpful. Also the articles are awesome!

It seems the more answers I get, the more questions pop up in my head.

So the Vasocongestion thing is interesting. I know edging gives more blood flow in penis and area around it but also increase the ejaculation power. But, it also increase the semen quantity and thickness, I think. That is what I am still little curious because it is surely building up semen in the storage there. That happens after I have done edging but not releasing it for days. I feel heavy, like carrying bag of water or something around penis, testicle , perineum, crotch, etc and the urge to ejaculate lasts through the days after. Its not like" I am back to normal again" because the semen/sperm has been re-absorbed back. It is not painful but rather tinglish sensation.

Now, I am also curious about sperm. I read on google "On average, it takes 50–60 days for sperm to develop in the testicles. After this, the sperm move to the epididymis, which are the ducts behind the testicles that store and carry sperm. It takes about 14 more days for the sperm to fully mature in the epididymis." I have no doubt it is indeed true. But then, we don't need to wait a mature sperm to impregnate an egg cell. I imagine if I have sex everyday, the ejaculation will only release baby sperms (or whatever it called)? Not to mention ejaculating 2-3 times during sex. Or does edging play a role here in terms of conserving sperms/ wait to be mature?

I am clear with the sexual fantasy question, thanks again Elise and Carly!

[Sam W]

Hi RowleinL,

So, with sperm, the body begins producing them at the onset of puberty. And a person with testicles produces millions of sperm each day. That means that there's never going to be a point where someone who is sexually active is without mature sperm, or would be able to somehow get rid of all the mature sperm cells. So there will always be some of those sperm present in semen.

That heaviness you're experiencing is likely still tied to vasocongestion, as there's some indication that "blue balls" are more likely to occur is someone edges, and it may be that your body takes awhile before that sensation goes down. I will say that if you start noticing that heaviness and related sensations at times where you haven't recently masturbated, that would be a time to check in with a healthcare provider to make sure the sensation isn't tied to something else.

[RowleinL]

Thank you Sam for the help!

I get it now about the sperm. I was stunned reading that epididymis itself is so long (6-7m in length?), and there are a lot of sperms chilling down there, perhaps billions before getting re-absorbed. It's like the opposite from female, 1 egg inside the tube and flushed/recycled during menstruation (based on my understanding). So during ejaculation, there are newly produced sperms and the one that are matured, I guess?

So back to my edging context, If I have done edging without ejaculation, the feeling will last for so long (weeks). it's like taking energy booster the best way I describe it. But also high urge to masturbate again. Besides, I have more semen quantity and thickness ones I ejaculate. Why is the semen getting thicker? is the semen stored in "ejaculatory duct" lasting for long period of time? It feels like when I try edging (not ejaculating), it builds up the semen as well not just blood flow to the region there. Is that a good sign?

[Sam W]

Right, when you ejaculate there's going to be a mix of sperm of different ages in the semen. As for the ovum, in most people of reproductive age (in or past puberty, but before menopause) who have a vagina and a uterus, their ovaries -- tiny sacs just outside the ends of the fallopian tubes -- contain ovarian follicles, which are immature ovum. In people the age of our typical readers, usually millions of them. Usually only one is released during ovulation, but sometimes more than one can be released or someone could ovulate more than once in that go around of their menstrual cycle.

So, from what I can tell semen, like sperm, is eventually going to break down and be reabsorbed by the body, although their can be a bit of variation in ejaculate consistency throughout a persons life. Too, the valid research on not ejaculating suggests that the positive mental or physical effects people feel from it are almost a placebo effect. But if you're enjoying that effect, then there doesn't seem to be any indication that not ejaculating is harmful for you.

[RowleinL]

Thank you for the reply Sam. I was just worried if edging can cause damage to penis, sperm or semen production, etc in short/long term. It would be nice if I can see an explanation of 3D model/video what is actually happening to male body when we edge. But I guess it's hard to find

[Mo]

It definitely won't cause harm to your body! Sadly, I don't know of any 3D models like what you're describing, but I agree it would be pretty interesting to see one if it existed.