Pain While Having penetration

[mygingerfro]

hey guys , first time. Hopefully i’m doing this right . Okay, So I tried having sex or atleast getting my boyfriend penis .. in me for the first time . He told me to tell me if it hurts and he’ll stop . First , he tried his fingers that hurt too but not too too bad then he tried his penis and I could hardly bare it . He told me it’s gonna hurt for the first time so I should just let him
go all the way but .. idk does it really hurt that bad . oh and also i was sore after it went away pretty quickly though .

[Heather]

Hey there, welcome to the boards.

So, despite the common thought that first-time vaginal intercourse should hurt, it actually shouldn't, and much of the time, if it does, it's because something isn't right. That something can be:
• the person with the vagina doesn't feel secure or safe or relaxed enough
• the person with the vagina isn't turned on
• lubricant isn't being used
• people are doing sexual things which involve going into the vagina -- with fingers, a penis, whatever -- too soon, or when the person with the vagina actually isn't wanting that at all or very much
• a partner is being too rough, hasty, or just isn't communicating with the person with the vagina to ONLY be doing what feels good
• people are continuing to do things even when it hurts, instead of stopping, or finding ways to do things that feel good instead (pain is a sign to stop, not a sign to keep going)

There's more, but those are some of the most common, and I know you can see some things on there that probably apply to you.

How is this relationship? Can you have honest talks about all this, correct your partner's misinformation, and maybe share some articles together so that you both better understand how to make this go better, and in a way where no one is in pain?

[mygingerfro]

omg thank you so so much. I just think i’m not turned on enough and not ready enough yet ! I feel like i won’t let go enough . Also, yes I can have talks with him about this and I will further it today . This was sooo much help !

[Carly]

Hey mygingerfro -- when you say you feel like you won't let go enough, are you talking about feeling anxious? What makes you think you won't be able to relax?