Condom confusion

[55]

Hi,
I wanted to please ask something about putting on condoms (for someone who’s uncircumcised).

When putting the condom on you have to pull back the foreskin and pinch the tip of the condom, which pretty much seems to need three hands. In particular, I’m finding it’s difficult to roll the condom past the head of the penis without my hand slipping and accidentally touching the penis. So my question, is there a way of rolling down the condom without your hand slipping and accidentally touching the penis whilst you unroll it? Or does it not matter? My concern was in regards to accidentally touching precum and then touching the outside of the condom with the same hand. Hope that makes sense! Thanks.

[Sam W]

Hi Holly55,

So, in terms of the logistics, a simple solution may be to ask your partner to help with the process; for instance, holding back the foreskin so you can focus on putting the condom on. In a broader sense, touching pre-ejaculate and then touching the condom isn't really a risk, because any sperm that might be present aren't going to survive that transfer.

[55]

Hi Sam. I do usually ask him to help but even then I struggle to roll it down without my hand slipping. However if you’re saying that wouldn’t be a risk then that’s good to know. Thanks

[55]

When you say it's not really a risk, could you please explain why? Also is there any way for me to please edit or delete this post? Feeling a bit uncomfortable about it being public in hindsight... thanks

[Mo]

We've got a bunch of information about how pregnancy can happen, and why it can't happen in other ways, all collected here: Pregnancy Scare Resources; you'll find your answer in the articles there!

As a general rule, we don't delete posts on our message boards; that's part of the site guidelines you agreed to when signing up for an account. Can you talk a bit about what's uncomfortable about this for you?

[55]

Just a bit too personal and I hadn't realised it couldn't be deleted. Do you ever make an exception? Happy to keep my previous posts up, but this one just wasn't keen as relates to somebody other than just me and wouldn't want him to feel embarrassed. Thanks

[Nicole]

Hi 55,

I just wanted to jump in and try to ease your discomfort here. Our boards strive on being anonymous and since you haven’t mentioned anything super identifiable, then I can assure you that this will likely not get back to the person that you were referring to in your post. Additionally, you presented an important question and many people utilize the boards as educational resources. We make this very clear in the user agreement. I hope you can understand! I can try to talk to the rest of the staff about this and what we can do to help you feel more comfortable about your activity on here. I will keep you updated on that. Thank you!

[55]

Thank you. I was also going to ask, if touching precum and then the outside of the condom isn’t a risk, then why is it a risk to put a condom on the wrong way round and then put it back on the correct way? Surely in both circumstances that’s an indirect transfer of precum? But one seems to be an issue and the other not? Thanks

[Carly]

Hey 55 -- when you say the wrong way around, do you mean inside-out? Like, with the reservoir tip inverted? In this case, the risk comes more from the decreased effectiveness of the condom rather than exposure to pre-cum. Condoms work the way they are intended if they are snug. This is why they're rolled on. If someone unrolled a condom, put it on inside out, took it off, and then put it back on the right way, it would stretch the condom into a looser fit with a higher chance of the condom tearing - resulting in the potential for direct exposure to sperm if the condom wearer ejaculated. Does this help?

[55]

Hi it’s on planned parenthood where I read ‘If you accidentally put a condom on inside out… it can pick up fluids (like pre-cum) that can spread STDs or cause pregnancy.’

That’s why I was confused as to why that’s a risk, but touching precum with your hand and then touching the outside of the condom isn’t. Thanks

[Mo]

Ultimately we really can't speak to why Planned Parenthood frames it that way! We'd classify this as indirect transfer, in the same no-risk category as the initial scenario you asked about. Putting a condom on inside out makes it harder to put on properly and securely, and having to try and roll it back up and unroll it the right way can cause problems in terms of fit as well, but that's the biggest concern with putting one on inside out at first.

[55]

Sorry meant to reply to this. It’s quite tough with the conflicting information online to know what’s true and not so thanks for clarifying! Where do you guys get your knowledge from? Thanks!

[Carly]

Hey 55 -- most Scarleteen staff and volunteers have some kind of background or expertise in sexual and reproductive health, social work, education and/or social justice. I can't speak for all of us or everyone on this thread, but most of what I know is from being a volunteer sex educator or what I learned while attending college and graduate school. Before becoming a volunteer at Scarleteen I was a reader, and I still learn a lot from the resources we have on the site. In general, we're a group of folks that passionately follow these topics and maintain an updated working knowledge to help others.

[55]

Thanks. It’s very difficult to know which resources to trust online as there’s so much conflicting information. Like some websites would say precum on the outside of a condom is still a risk, even though it’s indirect transfer. Scarleteen seems pretty clued up though so it’s helpful that you say it’s not a risk.

[Sam W]

Hi 55,

Something that might help to have on hand in the future is this article: Legit or Unfit? Finding Safe, Sound Sex Educators & Support Online.