Long-distance woes

[MichaelJ]

I'm in a committed relationship with an amazing girl for about a year now. She is not sexually active, and I'm ok with that. But conversely, my sex drive is through the roof. When I'm in Florida for college, all the bikinis don't really help with that lol. I worked so hard on myself to be ready for this relationship that I really miss her when I'm away, and honestly I just want female closeness. But I know that in my case, that will lead to sex.

Any advice on how to handle this would be appreciated!

[Heather]

Hi there, Michael, and welcome to the boards.

So, sex isn't something that happens on its own. In other words, nothing can "lead to sex," exactly. People have to actively do things for it to happen. Do you mean that if you have or pursue any kind of emotional intimacy with other women, or physical affection, like with friends, that you feel you will be unable to keep things platonic and that you will initiate or engage in sex that you don't want in order to be in your (I assume) monogamous LDR?

Can you say a little more about what you miss when she's away that isn't just about her specifically? What you're looking for in the kind of closeness you're describing besides someone having feminine gender?