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worried about low sex drive & troubles w/ masturbating

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sumthingsunholy
newbie
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Apr 10, 2023 3:46 pm
Age: 19
Primary language: English
Pronouns: he/they
Sexual identity: aroacespec, omni, t4t
Location: US

worried about low sex drive & troubles w/ masturbating

Unread post by sumthingsunholy »

I’m new here and made found this site by asking my friends for resources on sexual health. I’m not sure how in-detail I’m supposed to get here, so I’m sorry if I get either too explicit or too euphemistic.

I’m 18 years old, and I’ve never had any success masturbating. I’ve also had an almost nonexistent sex drive my entire life. I’ve been aware of how sheltered I am for years now (my parents mean well but are rather helicopter-y), but lately I’ve been worried that my experiences may be symptoms of some sort of health problem.

I’ve only tried to masturbate twice - and the first time was under pressure from a creepy classmate, so I wasn’t exactly enthusiastic about it - so maybe I shouldn’t start worrying just yet, but the skin on and around my genitalia just reacts like normal skin. I don’t feel any physical pleasure; it’s as if the type of nerve responsible for that sensation simply isn’t there. I’ve also been entirely disinterested in sex for my whole life up until very recently, in stark contrast to my peers. Recently, I’ve gotten into reading and occasionally writing short sexual fantasies, which can leave me with a deep feeling of satisfaction, but no physical reaction. Other than that and being mesmerized by gifs of Gerard Way in a skirt, I have been utterly unsuccessful in getting turned on. Honestly, I’m frustrated. I want to be able to get horny! It feels good! It just doesn’t seem to come as easily to me as to most people. For years I identified as aroace, and I’m still pretty sure I’m on those spectra, but the lack of sexual sensitivity in my genital region is starting to worry me. I’m pretty certain I’ve heard that that can be a symptom of some conditions that affect sexual health, as can low sex drive. Can someone please lay out the most likely causes for this?

tl;dr pussy broken 💥
asker of stupid questions :)
Logan W
scarleteen staff/volunteer
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Joined: Tue Nov 01, 2022 8:34 pm
Age: 36
Awesomeness Quotient: I play roller derby and love to skate outside!
Primary language: English
Pronouns: they/them
Sexual identity: Lesbian, queer, demiromantic
Location: Chicago, IL

Re: worried about low sex drive & troubles w/ masturbating

Unread post by Logan W »

Hello!

I know you said you identify as aroace and I just want to say that it is totally normal to not have as high of a sex drive. I can also understand how frustrating that can be when everyone else seems to have a higher interest in sex. From what you've expressed, you'd like to be able to experience pleasure and have some concerns about sensitivity in certain areas of your body. There was a good advice article that touched on your questions of not feeling sensation in certain areas of your body that I'm going to share in case it might be helpful:

https://www.scarleteen.com/article/advi ... ensitivity

Another thing I want to touch on is masturbation. There are a variety of ways a person can masturbate - some ways bring feelings of pleasure and some bring none. That is totally normal. I'm going to share another article - I know it says basics of masturbation in the title but there is a lot of good information and links to other resources for exploring the wide world of masturbation.

https://www.scarleteen.com/article/bodi ... sturbation

This could be a good place to start but I'm also here for any follow up questions!
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