I am to scared to finger my self as a 15 year old female

[Newtothis]

Hello!
I am a female of 15 years old, I never put anything inside of me, not even an tampons or anything.I tried putting my finger inside my vagina, but only half of my finger because I felt like I couldn’t go further and I got scared it would hurt if I would push it trew, so I took my finger off without satisfaction, it made me feel very sad that I can’t feel pleasure when I put my finger in. It scares me a lot to insert somthing inside of me because I’m scared it’s gonna hurt or it’s not gonna fit. All my friends enjoy masturbation with penetration of there finger, I never tried a tampon because I’m scare its not gonna fit. I may not be made for penetration, but I realy do want future sex with a man to be made with penetration, am I normal?, im very scared! Please help me!!

[Heather]

Hi there, Newtothis, and welcome to the boards.

I want to just start here by telling you a few things.

1) Very few people will experience a lot (and many won't experience any) of pleasure just by putting a finger into the vagina. The same goes for penises or toys. The vagina all by itself isn't very sensitive past the first inch inside the opening or so. After that first inch, there just aren't that many sensory nerve endings. (That's a mighty good thing for people giving birth: if there were, everyone would probably pass out!) For almost no one who isn't just excited by the new ness of it all, just inserting a finger isn't going to do anything, I promise. there's nothing wrong with you, your expectations are just not square with reality.

Something inside the vagina all by itself -- without intellectual/emotional arousal and stimulation, as well as engaging other more sensitive body parts like the clitoris, both internal and external, the lips or hands -- just isn't a thing for most folks. But for many, when they are first very turned on before engaging the vagina in any way (that changes how things feel), and also have engaged the internal and external clitoris that surrounds the vaginal canal and adds to its sensitivity. I'd be glad to link you to some more information on all this.

2) Friends, and the younger the more this tends to be true, are rarely honest with each other about sex and sexuality. Chances are good that few to none of your friends masturbate just by inserting a finger (and not doing anything else) and get a lot out of it.

Like you, a lot of your friends probably think that that's what this is supposed to feel like and that that's what masturbation is for folks, which is probably why most (if not all!) of them saying they do this and it blows their minds likely aren't telling the truth. It's not unusually malicious when anyone does this, it's just about people trying to be what they think is normal with friends around such a loaded thing. Get what I mean?

3) How much this hurts or feels good has a lot to do with both how relaxed someone is -- including not feeling fearful -- and how turned on someone is. In future relationships where you may want to have vaginal intercourse, it will also often have to do with what your relationship is like, and if your partner does things like ask you how things feel, is patient and responsive, and is invested in mutual pleasure. But if you have a vagina, chances are that if and when you want this kind of sexual activity, it's something you will be able to do without issue.

[Newtothis]

Hi!!
Thank you so much for taking the time to answer me!
I’m sure you are right for the part of my friends not tellling the truth, I feel like it’s not valid(there sexual experiences)
Also I tried yesterday of putting my finger inside of but but it didn’t work because I wasn’t having wetness. I usually have wetness when I am turn on, and this helped that one time I tried inserting my finger. Let me explain that one time ; I usually masturbate with rubbing on the clitoris, and this is what I usually do, and I was having wetness, so I thought I could put my finger inside me, (I took my middle finger) but when I tried, it felt super super weird because it was like pressure and it felt super weird inside, I took my finger off because I felt somthing “hard” the further I push, I got scared and took it out. So that’s how I first inserted my finger inside, as u said, I didn’t feel at all any pleasure.

Because of that, I never insert a tampon, but now I’m scared because in school I have swimming classes and I’m scared that if I’m going to be on my period I’m gonna have to wear a tampon.

Something I didn’t say is that I used to be in a relationship that we did oral sexual action, I gave him pleasure and he gave me oral pleasure, He asked if he could put his finger inside and I started to feel scared that’s when I panicked and suddenly the mood was gone, I felt like I ruining the moment and I felt l really bad. But I couldn’t tell him to put the finger in because I was super stressed so I was tight,
No because of this experience, I’m scared that in future relation I will not be able to get fingers inside of me or genital part

Also, I recently started to try more and more of inserting my finger inside me, but it just doesn’t work, one time I tried inserting it, and I don’t know what I touch but hurt, I just wanted to cry because I thought I could never do penetration in my life and I still think that…

Another question, I am truly concerned about that but I heard that lady could evacuate come when they had the orgasm, but whenever I masturbate with only the clitoris, I never got any white liquid coming out of me or not even squirting, is that only thing that can happen with penetration?

I think these are all my question, I know it’s a lot but I’m really concerned about these things, also thank you so much for taking the time to answer my question!!

[Sam W]

Hi Newtothis,

I'm actually going to answer your last question first. Ejaculation by someone with a vagina can happen, but there's no set of sexual activities that are guaranteed to make it happen, and even for people who do experience it, they often don't experience it every time they have sex or masturbate. If you're curious about the details, check this out: Squirt: On Ejaculation

I will say that it's very unlikely that being unable to fit a partner's finger inside you one time means you'll never be able to enjoy manual sex or vaginal intercourse. But, on the off chance inserting things never gets more comfortable for you, I think it's important to note that there are still a TON of sexual things partners can do together that don't involve putting anything in the vaginal canal.

I hear your expressing a lot of worry and frustration about not being able to insert anything into the vaginal canal. Setting aside the worries about tampons on swimming for right now (though we can certainly talk about how to increase the chances you can get one in if your period comes during the time you have swim lessons), how do you feel about just taking a break from trying to insert your fingers for awhile and instead focusing any masturbation you do on the things you actually enjoy?

[Newtothis]

Hello!
Sorry for my late response, I will be taking a note that women don’t purposely evacuate ejaculation.

I tried putting a tampon in and at first I didn’t feel nice because I didn’t put it there before, but when I changed it, I put it further, and it’s really wasn’t as uncomfortable as expected, I’m really proud of myself of being able to inser some thing down there, but, as you said I stop trying to insert my finger for pleasure or any kind, I just focus on my normal pleasuring, and I will stop stressing about my stressing about my sexual pleasure in the future, my time will eventually come soon!

(I just wanna say, thank you so so much for answering me back, your replies where extremely mind changing for me in a good way, I usually never talks about this thing and definitely I’m not open to the thing too, you sent me on the right road! Thank you so much for doing this you definitely change something in my life!)