I want to get comfortable with wearing revealing clothes

[Jay27]

I never wore revealing clothing because I used to be really insecure about my body, especially my boobs. I could only fit into baggy tshirts. I got a breast reduction last year and now my boobs are proportionate to my body and they look really good! I could definitely find cute low cut or tight tops that fit. But I’m so used to covering up that it would feel weird to change even though I really want to. Any tips for how I can get more comfortable?

[Carly]

Hey Jay -- it might be good to start by thinking backwards. What would make you feel uncomfortable about wearing clothing that felt more revealing? It sounds like the fit itself might be something you'd need to get used to, but what else (if anything)?

[Jay27]

I guess there’s a few things.
1. I think I still have a bit of body dysmorphia where I forget that I’m a lot smaller.
2. I’m a lesbian and I’m uncomfortable with the idea of men finding me attractive or harassing me (even though I’ve also been stared and and catcalled in baggy clothes). In general I don’t like drawing attention to myself.
3. I never saw myself as an attractive person until recently. I didn’t think I was “allowed” to be sexy because I’m really nerdy and awkward and I had no experience until last year. It’s only been in the past few months that I’ve realized I can be hot AND a nerd.

[Nicole]

Hi Jay27,

First, I want to mention that I'm happy to hear you're feeling good about how you look after your breast reduction! I have a feeling that because it's still new and fresh, you might have some lingering body dysmorphia. Although, I'm sure this will settle with time. Maybe, instead of jumping straight into finding the most revealing clothes, it would be good to start with one or two semi-revealing pieces to try out and see how you feel with them on while out and about. That might help with body dysmorphia because you won't be showing too much and still have some protection regarding self-consciousness. Also, it will help with having a sense of control of your body and feeling like you aren't just some eye candy to men. I know that feeling well, but somehow I've managed to completely forget about it over time. If anything, it could help to be surrounded by your partner or friends when under these circumstances so you have some kind of shield. I'm not sure if that makes any sense, but that's what has helped me in the past.

Also, yes! You can be hot AND a nerd. Embrace it!! I grew up under similar conditions and yeah, you don't have to limit yourself because of societal standards like that. Although, as I mentioned earlier, it's best to take it slow so you don't overwhelm yourself.

I hope any of this resonates with you!

[Jay27]

I might want to start with just wearing tighter shirts. I had to buy a few sizes too big when I was pre-op because I had a huge cup size but I’m average weight. I already started wearing regular one piece swimsuits instead of keeping my shirt on at the beach.

[Sofi]

That's a great start! Tighter shirts you're comfortable with are a good place to start, and it's okay to push past your previous comfort levels if it's something you know you want and as long as it isn't affecting you/causing you body dysmorphia. The wonderful thing is you can now start exploring different clothing styles and the sky is the limit! Whatever makes you feel happiest is what you should wear