Drunk sex in media

[bagel_lover]

If sex while drunk is illegal, and considered rape, why is it so common to see in tv or other forms of media?

[Sam W]

Hi flamboyantGuy,

There are a few reasons for this that occur to me, but others might think of addition ones. A big one is that a lot of media isn't great in terms of presenting safe, consensual sex on-screen. Think about how infrequently we really see people talk about the sex they're about to have, or see things like contraception or STIs discussed (unless they're major plot points). I suspect sex while under the influence is in that same category of people not being super concerned with how sex on screen or on the page reflects reality.

Another reason is that the conversation about how being drunk means someone can't meaningfully consent is a pretty recent one. We're talking a decade or two at most in terms of it being a conversation that made it into the mainstream understandings of consent and sexual assault. So you may also run into media that was created before then.

There's also the fact that realistically, people can and do have sex under the influence where both people report it being consensual before, during, and after it happens. So some of what you're encountering may be media that reflects those experiences, especially if it's media influenced by the creators own life.

[bagel_lover]

Ok, thank you!

[Jacob]

Just to add, flamboyantGuy: in your question you say that "sex while drunk is illegal" but I think it's more accurate to say that in most countries, the rape itself is the thing that is illegal, not the being-drunk part. Which is different from say, drunk-driving for example, where you drunk, you drove, you drunk-drove. If two drunk people have sex with eachother, you need more information to know if an assault has taken place.

It's also worth saying that if a person's behaviour does or doesn't match the wording of a crime as stated on the law books, that doesn't decide once-and-for-all what is actually ethical. Answering that question is more of a responsibility that we need to actively take as individuals in making decisions over our behaviour, and what we expect in others behaviour.

There is definitely an issue in media where the depictions of drinking, sex, and having drunk-sex contain all the unhealthy societal messages of both those things. But I think the cause and effect is a really winding path. Because there are also depictions of the exact same things, but do it better, and which combat those unhealthy messages. Then there are, of course, all the depictions that lie between, with factors that suck and elements which could have been good, but are ruined by a bad framing device or terrible takes by the characters/writers.