Can I be a lesbian if I am sexually fantasizing about men?

[kamieezpopi]

I don’t feel romantically nor sexually attracted to the males in my life, I can think that a male looks attractive, but dating or having sex with him would be stressful and uninteresting

But on the other hand, I do fantasize about two male celebrities having sex, I imagine I’m the bottom being anally penetrated, giving a blowjob, moaning in his ear, being kissed on the neck, doing it in the shower, etc

I still can’t tell if I’m a lesbian or bisexual

[Latha]

Hi there, Kamieezpopi- welcome to the boards!

I couldn't tell you if you're a lesbian or bisexual, since only you can say such things for sure, but I can give you some of my thoughts:

The fantasies we have don't always point to the experiences we would actually want in real life. It could be that having sex with men is only appealing to you in these fantasies, since you mentioned that the idea of dating or having sex with a man in real life seems stressful and uninteresting.

Sexuality is complicated- our sexual identities won't always fit into neat, distinct boxes. That is okay. You can choose to identify as whatever fits best. You can always change how you identify if you find something that fits better later, or if your experience of your sexuality changes.

What do you think of this?