masturbation + sex drive

[crowbar]

hi, i’m 15 and i’ve never really felt aroused or been able to masturbate. i would really like to be able to, and ive tried a few times, but nothing has ever really come of it. id like to feel horny, but i never have. idk i might be asexual but i was under the impression that asexual people are still able to masturbate? advice / information would be appreciated

[Heather]

Hi there, crowbar, welcome to the boards.

There's no one way everyone asexual identifies or experiences things. Some people who ID as ace feel arousal and want to masturbate but not have sex with partners, others don't. And there are also many people who aren't asexual but haven't experienced or yet experienced sexual arousal or desire, something more common with younger people than older people. I'd certainly say there are plenty of people who are 14 or 15 who haven't had these experiences yet.

Ultimately, any of this is just about pleasure: pleasure in our minds and in our bodies. So, one way to start exploring any of this is to think a bit bigger than just genitals or masturbation or what a lot of people might or might not consider sexual and start with pleasure.

What do you do in your life that brings you pleasure? That feels good to you, in your body and in your mind?

[crowbar]

i love watching weird queer movies (also movies in general) and reading books. music is my favourite thing on earth, after my dog, so i do that a lot as well. i like exercising, and playing sports. i like talking with my friends and spending time with them. i like being online, seeing the opinions and art of people i like. that sort of stuff.

[Heather]

Hey there, crowbar. This is a good start!

I wonder if we could narrow this list down -- or expand it -- so that what you're really focusing on are the things that bring you the most sensory pleasure, or even physical pleasure. Like, what really feels delicious in your body, what gets you kind of caught up in your experience of your senses?