Very paranoid please help!

[ilovepuppies]

Hi so me and my boyfriend decided to take a break from sex and do other stuff. So, I was giving him head and then we had stopped and he didn’t ejaculate at all from the head. We were talking for a little bit and then we started kissing again and he fingered me while kissing. The next day, I asked him if he had touched his area or anything and all he told me was that he had grabbed the base of it to put it back in his pants. But, that the base of it wasn’t wet at all and his fingers were completely dry not even moist, after touching it and before putting them in me. Also, he had told me that he didn’t even feel pre cum come out because he can feel it when “he’s focused”. Another thing to add, is that this happened 5 days before my period, so I wasn’t fertile on my app, and I’m supposed to get my period in 2 days. Please help and reassure me!!!

[Sam W]

Hi ilovepuppies,

This situation does not pose a pregnancy risk, as only direct, genital to genital contact with pre-ejaculate poses a risk. Indirect contact, such as pre-ejaculate being on the hand, does not, in part because any sperm present would not have survived the trip from penis to hand to whatever else he touched to vagina.

[Heather]

Also, as we ask in the user agreement when using any of our direct services, please search the main site for help before posting to direct services.

For now and if you find yourself in this spot again, these three resources cover all of these kinds of questions and concerns:
• The Pregnancy Panic Companion
• Can I Get Pregnant, or Get or Pass On an STI From That?
• Human Reproduction: A Seafarer's Guide

I also want to add that when you see yourself typing something like "paranoid" or, like you did in the text service this morning, saying outright that you're reassurance seeking, those are clues that information isn't actually what you probably need, but instead, to find out what's activating your anxiety, and make some different choices from there.

You are describing having sex here: intercourse is just one kind of sex. Oral sex, like giving head, is another. If you were trying to take a break from sex because it's activating anxiety about pregnancy, you'll likely need to really do that, stepping away from all kinds of sex with genital contact, not just one kind. You might also try and take some time to figure out what you need to feel better about all of this so you don't keep being worried. I'm happy to talk some of that through with you if you like.

Lastly, none of the apps that currently exist can accurately predict fertility. That's because to do that with any real accuracy, a person needs to be charting their cervical mucus and basal temperatures daily, over many months AND periods AND have very, very regular cycles, and then, after at least six months of all that, needs to also know how to interpret that data. Not only is your app likely not giving you reliable information, focusing on it is also probably adding to your anxiety: they usually do for folks.

[ilovepuppies]

Well for me, I really was just taking a break from intercourse then, but just to double check, in this scenario there is no risk of pregnancy?

[Heather]

Please use the links I gave you to do that for yourself if you want to stay focused on that question. Sam has already answered that for you right here in this thread.