I regret telling my friends that me and my boyfriend kissed.

[Runmelon51]

So when me and my boyfriend kissed for the first time I told my friends all about it which I normally am a 100% against for the most part. I think most stuff in relationships should be private and also I don’t trust people as lots of the time people secretly wish bad for you. There were some people I told that I already didn’t trust and some others that I know would probably mention something to mutuals who I either don’t like or know. I think because my friends knew how much I liked him I told them and stuff. The thing I didn’t like as well was that we kinda made out after our kiss so they knew that as well. Other stuff has happened since then that no one knows about but I just feel kinda gross for telling people and regret it. I know my boyfriend told his friends some stuff as well but I don’t know.

[Willa]

Hi Runmelon51,

I'm sorry this has been so stressful for you. I was wondering if you could expand more on what you mean when you say that you don't trust people or that they "secretly wish bad for you." Have things happened to make you feel this way? It seems like there is a level of anxiety here about the information leaving people you trust. Do you feel you have people you can talk about this sort of thing with, that you can trust and that will respect your privacy?

Sharing information like this is all up to personal preference as well as boundaries set in individual relationships- and it seems like this is something to discuss with your boyfriend as well. However it can be an important part of relationships to have the time to discuss with trusted people in our lives what is happening with our partners and how we feel about it. This gives us a chance to process things with a more neutral third party, and there is nothing wrong with that. That doesn't mean you have to tell everyone you know everything that goes on, but instead understanding it is healthy to discuss big changes in your life with trusted individuals. Does that make sense?