i cant masturbait, and i think the only thing that feels good is wrong

[meow678]

ive read other posts similar to this, but no one has had the exact problem ive had, so im making a new post.

so im afab, but i dont think im masturbaiting right. fingering myself or using toys doesnt feel like anything. ive tried my g-spot and everything, still nothing. ive tried my clit, and i can only touch it for a few seconds before it gets so uncomfortable i have to pull away. ive tried other parts down there too, and nothing. it doesnt feel good or anything. ive tried touching other parts of my body first, and i wasnt anxious or anything in the moment. still nothing

the only thing that has ever felt good is pressing my thighs really hard together until it feels like almost like, i guess like im chasing something then it kinda feels like im coming off a high. i assume thats an orgasm. but im not touching myself at all other then pressing my thighs together really hard. or, i guess more like thrusting into my own thighs? i dont know how to describe it. i dont moan or anything, nor my facial expression or anything change.

is this weird? if thats like, normal, how would i orgasm with a partner then? i just want it to feel “normal”.

[Latha]

Hi Meow678,

Don't worry, none of this is weird or wrong, it is just a kind of masturbation that feels good for you. And based on what you've described, I agree that you are probably experiencing orgasms.

Now, we can talk about how you can start to experience more pleasure when you masturbate in other ways (it is definitely possible) but I'm a bit concerned about your motivations. There is nothing wrong or abnormal with how you are masturbating now. Trying to change yourself to meet some arbitrary standard of normal seems like a very negative approach to take here. Staying curious and non-judgemental is important when we are trying to explore new things- that is still true when it comes to our sexuality.

If you don't mind, I have some questions for you:

• When you masturbate, are you usually turned on, or in the mood already?

• What kinds of things are on your mind when you masturbate?

• How do you feel about bodily pleasure in non-sexual situations? Have you enjoyed the kinds of activities listed in this article?

[ace_aym]

I created an acc here just to tell you — I HAVE THE EXACT SAME ISSUE AS YOU! I only reach an orgasm when I press my thighs too hard together. Even sex with a man doesn’t feel that good! Ohh and another issue I have is that I get turned out watching taboo movies even though I absolutely dislike the idea of it. I wish I got turned on watching normal romantic porn like everyone else.

[OrionRay]

Ace_Aym,
There's no such thing as normal when it comes to sex, especially masturbation. There is no "golden standard" of intercourse, it's a varied thing that looks different for everyone. Taboo things can be arousing to some, and that isn't necessarily a bad thing. As long as you aren't hurting anyone else, yourself, or exploiting the harm of others you have nothing to worry about.

[ace_aym]

Appreciate your response.🫶
And by taboo I didn’t mean anything aggressive, I meant step siblings/step uncle stuff, smh. That turns me on due to some things that happened in my childhood perhaps. Anyhoo, thanks a bunch for clarification.

[Latha]

Hi Ace_aym,

You know, sometimes people can find a link between their sexual interests and events in their childhood, but in other cases, there's no discernable reason at all. Either way, there isn't anything inherently wrong with feeling aroused by taboo subjects. It would still be okay if the subject was aggressive. As Orion said, as long as you are not hurting anyone, you don't have to worry.