insertion…

[tarobubbleteaaa]

hi, i’m a 20 year old girl and i think i have issues with internal stimulation. i recently bought an insertion vibrator because i wanted to experiment with internal stimuli while masturbating. i thought since i am able to put two fingers into my vagina, a small-ish sized insertion vibrator would also fit inside me. but when i tried to use it, i ultimately got too anxious about the potential pain and got turned off i tried to use my own spit as lube since i don’t have real lube and it didn’t work. also, the anxiety is preventing me from getting relaxed and aroused enough for insertion. do i just need to calm tf down?? do i just need lube?? is there something wrong with my vagina??? please help a girl out cause i rlly think i’d like penetration but my vagina is not agreeing with me </3

[Sam W]

Hi tarobubbleteaaa,

It sounds like both anxiety and a lack of lubrication are playing a role here. So, getting your hands on some lube could be helpful (and if you're not sure how to do that, we can help you figure that out).

With that anxiety and tension, was it just that worry about pain that lead you to feel anxious? Or is masturbation generally something that makes you feel tense or nervous?

[tarobubbleteaaa]

hi sam,

thank you for the response! i think lube would be pretty helpful but yeah, i don’t know much about how to get it or use it. i’ve only ever relied on my own spit (which feels wrong but ?)

and i think the anxiety is mostly caused from my worries about experiencing pain. i hear stuff abt hymens tearing and bleeding and that scares me. i’m generally not super tense abt masturbation, though i do get anxious the people i live with will hear me. i’m very comfortable with external stimuli and i want to like internal stimuli because i enjoy watching penetration in porn but…

[Willa]

Hi Tarobubbleteaaa,

Lubricant is available at sex stores but also in stores such as Walgreens and CVS. Many sex toys will come with instructions on the type of lubricant that is most compatible but in general, it is best to avoid silicone-based lubes if your toy is made of silicone itself. As for using it, you can place lubricant on the toy or the opening to the vagina- the amount is up to your personal preference. I will include a resource that goes over the basics of lubrication here: https://www.scarleteen.com/article/bodi ... tle_primer

In general, with masturbation, it is best to do what is comfortable and feels good and to stop when things begin to feel painful or uncomfortable. Take things slow with this new experience and you will not be at risk of tearing. As far as the hymen (actually called the vaginal corona) and bleeding- this is generally an overstated myth that it is something that will all of a sudden pop or break. It is different for every person with a vagina and is more likely to slowly break down or wear away over time during adolescence. Does that all make sense? We can also talk more about your anxiety and ways to relax if that would be helpful to you.