Pain with vaginal insertion

[ColorMeStoked]

Hi there,
I’m 18 and am a lesbian. I have never found internal vaginal stimulation that enjoyable, if I do manage to do it. I’ve never been able to use tampons because, in the rare event that I do get one up, my body literally forces it back out.
I’ve been turned on and used lube and still had trouble getting anything up. It’s like my body just locks up or forces things out without my control. It also hurts.
I’m wondering what steps might be recommended to help this? I know everyone’s body is different, but I feel like it should be possible to relax these muscles and find pleasure with this. It’s frustrating since it is out of my control.

[char]

Hi ColorMeStoked. Do you think you'd be able to see a healthcare professional about this, or perhaps you've done so in the past? If you haven't, I think it's a good idea to plan a visit in the near future, especially since you said you've already tried using lube (though often what we feel is "enough" lube may be a bit less than our body may need) and getting yourself aroused. And if you have other concerns related to your sexual and reproductive health, a healthcare professional will be able to help you with that.

Aside from seeing a healthcare professional, I wonder if you've experimented with the positions of your entire body and your fingers (whether on their own or holding a tampon). Since the vaginal canal is curved, insertion needs to be done in a way that follows its shape, rather than just putting, say, our fingers straight into it. Many people with vulvas also find insertion more pleasurable if it's also coupled with clitoral stimulation, and/or if they've orgasmed prior to the insertion. And of course, it's always good to be patient with ourselves; our internal monologue can sometimes be more harsher than we thought it'd be, making our bodies much more tense than expected. While this article largely focuses on partnered sex, you might find its content useful: From OW! to WOW! Demystifying Painful Intercourse