How to find partner as an introvert and shy

[mika.m]

Hi, I think answering to this question is complex but I hope I can get my answer, how can I find a partner as someone who's introvert and shy?
Sometimes I want someone who can trust and make intimacy like having sex and touching, etc. but I'm not someone social and can't easily communicate and scared to be ridiculed and abused(let alone asking to have sex) how can i do it?

[StephR]

Hi mika.m,

This article might be helpful for you: I'm an introvert, but I want to start dating.

Speaking as someone who is also an introvert, I also find it easier to meet and talk to people online than in person. I met a lot of my local friends online and then we started hanging out in person. There might be groups on Facebook or other social media sites for young people in your area. Dating apps are also an option. However, it's also important to be safe when meeting people from the internet in real life, and this article may be helpful with that: Getting Real: Relationships On the Net

How does all of this sound to you?

[mika.m]

Those links are nice. That sounds great, but I think I don't know what should I talk about in chat or during date. I'm not good at talking and chatting especially with strange people. It's like I say hello, how are you? And after getting my answer I don't know how to continue the conversation.

[Andy]

Hi there,

I totally get finding it difficult to talk with people you don’t know, believe it or not but a lot of people have it the same to some extent so chances are, you won’t be the only one feeling like that in a given conversation.

As for conversation topics, that depends only on you, the other person or the situation and there is no given set of sentences you should use in a given situation, after all, all people and their conversations are different. To give you some specific ideas that could work in most situations:

Have they told you how are they doing? Inquire some more!
Do you want to find out if you have some shared interests and get to know them better? Ask them about their favorite shows, games or food.
Do you want them to know you better? Tell them about your favorite media, what you did last weekend or what are you looking forward too.
How does these sounds, do you have any other ideas

Really, there are not many wrong options and a lot of those that will lead to interesting conversations and getting to know great people!
About dating, not only, while being introverted in general I really recommend this website: https://captainawkward.com/
Looking through it’s archive you will probably find people with similar experiences and a lot of advice!

[mika.m]

That's great information. Is there any online platform to find teens like me? I know there's Trevor Project but it's for queers. Is there any platform to find queer or non-queer teens?

[Sam W]

Hi Mika,

If you're looking specifically for dating options or options where it might lead to romance, then right now those options are pretty limited since a lot of platforms are for those 18 and older. You're right that places like Trevor Project are more for crisis or peer support; and the boards here, while a place to connect with other teens, aren't meant to be used as a dating platform either. Too, given your location, your options might be more limited depending on if there are any blocks on certain dating apps or specific websites.

That being said, even just interacting with people more generally can go a long way towards helping you find a partner. Both in the sense that it introduces you to be people who you might get along with and may want to date down the road, but also because a big part of dating is learning how to interact with other people, period. Does that make sense?

[mika.m]

Yeah that makes sense, but how can I find or approach the people like me?

[Sam W]

A really common way is get involved in spaces, groups, hobbies, etc that you either already enjoy or are curious about. That gives you a structured way to meet people you already at least have some basic interests in common with, and having a specific activity or topic that you're involved in can help remove some of the feeling of "oh no what do I even talk about?"

Are there any hobbies or other activities you're interested in or already do that you think would put you in contact with other people?

[mika.m]

My hobbies are masturbating and using sexual media, storytelling, philosophy, thinking and fantasizing

Also I should mention that i want to have a partner at least for sharing or meeting our sexual needs or thoughts

[Latha]

Hi there, Mika.m

Of the hobbies that you've mentioned, I think storytelling and philosophy might be most helpful for meeting other people. Maybe you could attend lectures or a writing club. If you enjoy reading as well, you could join a book club. I think you can look for offline and online options for all of these. How does this sound?