confused about masturbation and it doesnt feel good

[sprinkledsugar]

i am a 13 year old almost 14 girl, ive been trying to masturbate for years now because all over the internet i heard it was normal to masturbate starting at around 10, all my friends say they masturbate especially my girlfriend since shes hypersexual, but everytime i try to i dont feel anything and it just feels uncomfortable? maybe its something to do with me? ive watched videos and tried everything but it just doesnt feel good. sure i get turned on or horny by things but whenever i try to masturbate it just goes away when i try because it doesnt feel good it, it feels more like uncomfortable? idk how to explain it. ive been freaking out for years over this because i think maybe theres something wrong with me i just wish i could masturbate normally. can someone help please

[Latha]

Hello Sprinkledsugar, welcome to Scarleteen!

I promise, there is nothing wrong with you. Yes, many people start exploring masturbation around the age of ten, but that doesn't mean it is abnormal or wrong if you don't masturbate or if masturbation doesn't feel good. Take a look around the boards, you'll see that plenty of people begin to explore masturbation when they are older than you are now. Difficulties with feeling pleasure are also very common, especially at the start - learning to connect with your body this way can take some time.

It sounds like you're already doing some things we would suggest to build that connection: trying different techniques, learning about what makes you feel aroused, and exploring sexual media. That is great! Just remember that masturbation is a completely optional activity, so you don't have to do it if it feels uncomfortable right now. Taking a break is an option. This doesn't mean you are behind your peers in any way, nor does it mean you won't be able to explore sex in the future. Just, when our bodies do not work the way we expect them to, it is usually best to accommodate them as they are instead of trying to make them different.

I don't know the context with your girlfriend, but I want to touch on the idea of being hypersexual for a moment: Many of us grow up in cultures that are simultaneously sex-negative but also very focused on sex. This can lead to people worrying that they masturbate too much, or that their interest in sex is excessive when it isn't. I don't think anyone's interest in sex can be excessive unless it is getting in the way of other things that they want or need in their life. Even then, the real problem usually isn't the interest itself.