fingering genuinely doesn’t feel good to me even with stimulation

[flowerzsophiaa]

this is rlly embarrassing but i’m 14 and i’ve been exploring myself (idk how else to word it) for around 3ish?? years now and i’ve been wanting to try different things lately. i’ve tried fingering, clitoral stimulation, and almost everything else but nothing feels good to me for some reason. it either feels uncomfortable or just..normal like nothings even happening and i only feel a little bit of pressure

i’ve never had any crazy amazing feeling when i’ve touched myself ever (i’ve only felt good for like 7 seconds and moved on) which kind of bums me out because i actually want to feel something more but i can never get to that point. does anyone know if this is normal and if there’s a way to make this feel better?

[Anya]

Hi flowerzsophiaa,

It sounds like you're experiencing some trouble feeling pleasure during mastubation. That's never fun, and i'm sure pretty frustrating!

To answer your question, yes it is quite common of an experience. There are a lot of things that can get in the way of pleasure. Some reasons this might be are stress level, expectations or pressure we can sometimes unknowingly place on ourselves, or complicated feelings about our bodies. Do any of these things resonate with you? If so, a good practice to think about would be trying to get in tune with your body. Taking a few deep breaths and trying to center your mind on just your physical sensations can sometimes help with this. Let me know your thoughts on this!

[flowerzsophiaa]

hi, tysm for responding! i try to focus but i still don’t feel much for some reason, it’s very hard to make myself feel good especially for awhile even if i try and relax and concentrate.

[lilikoi]

Hi flowerzsophiaa,

No need to feel embarrassed! This is exactly what our message boards are for. We get a ton of questions about this so you're not alone!

I am wondering when you are exploring sensation on your body in different ways, are there any external stresses that might be making it hard to focus? Also, has pleasure always been this way or only recently since you said you've been trying different things?

I like this article which encourages imagination, time, focus, and variationTake a Self-Love Road Trip: Let Curiosity Guide Your Masturbation! Have you explored our articles on masturbation before? Knowing that could give us a good idea of how to answer your questions!

[flowerzsophiaa]

hii! super sorry for the late reply i’ve been busy but pleasure has felt this way for me for as long as i can remember. almost every time i try to do anything, even when i’m relaxed, i dont feel much for some reason & touching either gets overstimulating and starts to hurt, or i dont feel anything which worries me a bit because i’m scared i won’t ever feel genuine pleasure from touch. i believe i have orgasmed multiple times before but it’s never felt amazing and i sometimes don’t even feel like i’m done

[Straif]

Hi flowerzsophiaa,
I can hear that you're understandably frustrated, which isn't conducive to relaxing. I'm going to give you some additional articles that might help with what you're experiencing, but the hardest/most important thing may be trying to take the pressure off yourself to feel a certain way. That's why that article about curiosity and masturbation that lilikoi recommended is such a good one: because it can help you be less "goal oriented" and enjoy yourself. (This is a game changer for both masturbation and partnered sex.) The article also mentions the importance of arousal to feeling pleasure, and it recommends some ways to help relax and get "in the mood" as well as what to do if you start to feel overwhelmed or overstimulated.
If you want to learn more about about the science behind some of the recommendations in the article, I also suggest https://www.scarleteen.com/read/sex-sex ... sers-guide

Other articles you might find helpful include:

https://www.scarleteen.com/read/sex-sex ... ulfillment

https://www.scarleteen.com/read/sex-sex ... sturbation

https://www.scarleteen.com/read/sex-sex ... omfortable

https://www.scarleteen.com/read/sex-sex ... -own-terms

https://www.scarleteen.com/read/bodies/ ... al-anatomy

https://www.scarleteen.com/read/sex-sex ... ve-edition