Can't resist about my feelings

[mika.m]

Long story short, I understand it's completely normal to feel aroused about other people even normal friends and having daydreaming about it but sometimes it's embarrassing and feels bad btw... How can I resist my bad feelings?

[KierC]

Hi Mika,

I’m glad you know that it normal to experience attraction to friends and others in your life, but I hear you that sometimes it still feels bad when you think about it. You’re right that it’s normal, *and* there’s also nothing wrong with it. But, to better understand how you can resist feeling badly, I want to ask first: Can you say a little bit about what bad feelings come up when you daydream or feel aroused by friends or others? Do you have any specific thoughts that cross your mind and feel badly? If we start there, we may be able to suggest some ways for you to both reality-check those thoughts, and help you feel a little less embarrassed or bad about it. How does that sound to you?

[mika.m]

Yeah it's good.
I don't know how to describe it. It feels like that I'm doing something guilty especially when it's about someone I respect to them.

I know it doesn't harm anyone... But sometimes these thoughts come in my mind

[aarija]

Hey Mika,
As you and Kier both said, it is perfectly normal to experience attraction to friends and to have daydreams. And unfortunately, loads of people are taught to feel guilty about experiencing any kind of attraction. As you've said, these thoughts are in your mind, where they aren't harming anyone. That means this is a good opportunity to invite some curiosity about what you're thinking or feeling. What do you find attractive about these people?
Where is the guilt or bad feeling coming from?