1. the 2nd time we met he barely went down on me, kept getting me to go down on him but promised he'd change when I bought it up afterwards.
2. Another time when I said I don't want to go on him, i had to repeat myself and physically move myself as he wasn't listening.
3. Again he said he'd change, and it took him weeks to convince me. When we met again as he said he'd make it about me. I mean he went down for a long time, and I know this because straight away he said he'd done it for 30 minutes. Note this was him going down because he wanted to, not because I asked him to.
4. When we met another time, he was using his fingers so I said please I need your mouth and he did that for such a short period of time, it felt like a few minutes.
5. Usually as soon as we'd meet, he'd make the priority on him so I'd pull it back to me and say its a 2 way street. On the phone he said that makes me selfish and girls are usually more focused on the guy's pleasure.
This all happened between May and December. Then in June this year he wanted to start things up again. I said no because he always makes it about him, to which he said its because I turned him on so much that he needed to come and that he's learnt his lesson and will come before we meet, but I stopped trusting him by this point. But now he's dating someone else and a part of me regrets not giving him another chance. But at the same time it hurts how selfish he was. I mean even when I stopped speaking to him end of June, I wondered if I should give him another chance in July, but I was sure he'd go back to his old ways based on experience. But now I want him back :'(
Otherr things to note, there were a few moments when he'd make it about me, but for example he'd say you do this to me first and then I'll do what you want. Or the thing I want him to do would be a major turn on for him. Its nearly a year since this happened, and we've spoken here and there over the past month. I messaged him back in May this year how much his behaviour hurt me, especially since he knew I was going to him for an escape from everything bad happening, but he said that he didn't know so i told him how would he know as when I tried to tell him in person he'd just laugh nd wouldn't say much when I told him on message. In May he asked me for forgiveness in the same conversation, and said let me make it up to you, but as he'd previous said that as per point 3 above to just throw it in my face, I said theres nothing he can do to make it up. We stopped speaking (my decision) on 30th June, but i wasnt able to let it go, so went and told him in August in person. He apologised, but he said he didn't care until the point he saw my reaction in August which in my opinion voids the May apology and that hurts.
Now I feel stuck over this matter because like I said to him in person he August, he knows had he said to me let's meet just for me to go down on him, I'd never agree. I feel like that's all it was about which is why I stopped in June, but then he convinced me to start again in July (as mentioned in point 3 above) but then towards the end of the year would start pushing me to go down on him again, and when I'd say via message how about you go down on me, he'd suggest 69 or would say you go down on me first.
