Scarleteen

"You're 29 years old and you don't know how to have sex"
"you don't know how to use your penis"
roared the queen in Spanish to our translation app that I could then hear it translated to English.

Those are the words coming from my girlfriend of 3 months when I have a long distance relationship with and traveled to see her in another state twice, for the weekend. I only know English (well I'm picking up Spanish) and she only knows Spanish. We use a translation app

So why does she say this? Because I explained to her I feel nervous and uncomfortable with the cowgirl position because when she grinds back it pushes my erection angle closer to her and away from me and I feel unsafe about the possibility of injury. I don't like it when she tries to give me handjobs if she pushes me erection away from me, again in an angle it doesn't go.

-Thus the queen after pressuring me to do things I didn't feel comfortable doing acted like there's no other way to orgasm or that oral doesn't exist or that you can't just incorporate sex toys into the bedroom

-and she really treated me in a disrespectful way after I spent all that time, money, and effort to travel

Hi there. I hear you're frustrated with the way your girlfriend is treating you, and I gotta say, you're right that it's not very respectful to talk to anyone, let alone our partners, that way. I went and looked at your previous post after reading this one and it sounds like this isn't a very healthy relationship. Even aside of the things she said, it sounds like sexually you are not a good fit with each other and want different things.

Beyond that, if she is pressuring you to do things you're not comfortable doing, that's really not okay. We should never be pressuring our partners to do anything they are uncomfortable with, especially when it comes to sex. In a healthy relationship, when you express discomfort with something, your partner respects that. Pressuring you and insulting you, and you referring to her as the queen in a possibly condescending way, signals that this is not a healthy relationship and there is a lot of resentment on your end for the way she has treated you.

I want to check in with how you feel after hearing this. We know leaving an unhealthy relationship when we love the person is really hard, so we are happy to help you through that if you need, just let me know.

Hey there, I just want to echo Sofi here, because I think it's been clear since you started posting here that this relationship is just bad news. Bad for you, for certain, but it sounds like it's no good for either of you. Neither of you seem happy with one another, and you have also reported things here that sound potentially sexually abusive (pressuring a partner into any kind of sex is coercion, whatever the genders of people involved).

I do want to say that there are a few things you've said here we might want to table to talk about later though, like the idea that it's not okay for people to just bring sex toys into the bedroom (it is, and a lot of people do just that, but if it isn't okay with *you* and you have told a partner that, then yeah, that's not alright), or what sounds like a sense that if you spend money and time to travel to a sexual or romantic partner that they owe you something (they don't). However, I think the most important thing right now is your recognizing that this is clearly a toxic relationship, at best, and starting to think about leaving it.