ocd and sexuality

[vio]

okay hi so as said in the subject title, i have ocd and it rlly affects how i experience attraction. im asexual as well so they prob intersect a ton . but im also a writer and sometimes write suggestive/sex scenes bc it has potential for character development .

the thing is my flavor of ocd is pocd and my brain keeps telling me the characters im writing r children even though they most definitely arent. part of it is bc of the fact one of the characters i write nsfw of is from a series that takes place in the near future. the series takes place between the years 2027-2029, but in 2024-25, theyd be younger, so my brain thinks that imagining sexual scenarios for them would be weird even though theyre a canon adult and i'm envisioning them as they are in canon, aka a 22 yr old (im 20 for reference)

honestly idk what to do bc i didnt mind writing smut fic for the first time but i dont want my ocd beating me over the head esp since im writing abt canon adults here + my ocd is trying to convince me otherwise with its weird ocd logic. any advice on how to challenge these thoughts that isnt me being stuck in an obsessive compulsive thought loop?

[Latha]

Hi Vio, welcome to the boards!

It would be nice if it were enough to know that something is fine to stop worrying about it. Alas, anxiety isn't always that reasonable. I’m sorry you're experiencing this, it must be frustrating! Before I say anything else: if you are not seeing a mental health professional already, that might be something to consider. A therapist would have the expertise to help you manage these kinds of thought loops in ways we can't.

Challenging these thoughts with accurate information is a good strategy. You're right, these characters are not minors, they are adults. See if you can focus on the absurd elements of these thoughts. Your characters are in the present of 2027: if you can't write about them having sex because they were minors in the past, no one can talk about anyone having sex, because everyone was a minor at some point.

There are other strategies you can use, such as mindfulness and distraction. Anxiety might tell you that this is important and that you need to stay in this conversation. However, you know the truth, and you probably have other things you want to do with your time. By just postponing when you think about this again, you may give yourself evidence that this isn't actually an urgent problem.