Troubling sex life....????

[Madie.sandifer]

Okay.....so I'm 16 years old and my boyfriend is 18, we have been together since the 22nd of January of 2014. He is one of those guys and I also, that thinks of sex in a relationship as a "BONUS". So it's not that crucial for us to have it but when we want to its nice to know that we don't have to, to be happy with each other.

Anyways,.....it's kind of complicated when we have had sex in the past, I can't tell you how many times we have tried to have comfortable sex that we both can enjoy but it just doesn't ever seems to go right.
So I know what you are thinking, what in the world could be the issue,....well I'll tell you,

When we have sex it's very painful and slow because my vagina is very tight and narrow, no matter what I do I can't stretch it or anything and we have had maybe 2 times where he fingered me before we actually had sex and it didn't hurt as bad as all the other time when he hasn't, for example my very first time was with him and it didn't hurt not one bit. So I am just looking for someone to maybe help me out and possible give me some ways to help my situation.

Like how to get more stretched out but not like old lady vagina.... lol but at least something to make our sex life easier and maybe less painful for me.
PLEASE HELP!!!!

[Sam W]

Hi Madie,

So, the first thing to do is to give this article a read and see if anything from it works:
From OW! to WOW! Demystifying Painful Intercourse

The most common reasons why intercourse is uncomfortable are that the person is not quite relaxed or aroused by what's happening, or their is not enough lubrication present (lube is your friend when it comes to sex).

(also, just as an aside, please don't make jokes about "old lady vaginas." There's a lot of shame around people having "loose" vaginas (which are not really even a thing) so we try to avoid talking like that in Scarleteen spaces )

[Madie.sandifer]

Thanks so much!! And I'm sorry I didn't mean to offend anyone if I did I was just trying to make a point and got lost for words. But thank you for the advice.